Well the Mormons and Scientologists have made my religious watchlists repeatedly for their various crazy beliefs and silly antics, however never thought the Amish would give them a run for their money! Evidently living secluded lifestyles have finally driven them to insanity. I have family that live in Amish country so I'm not unfamiliar with them and their practices. Always had a respect for their commitment. I can understand the draw of living a simple lifestyle in a tight knit community. Personally I'd survive about 30 seconds, but they seem to like it so cool for them. Now outside of the horrible movie Witness, you very rarely hear anything about this group. Until now.
Silly Amish!!
Now there are as many different sects of Amish as there are nail polishes on my shelf. Each with their different Ordnung or orders but for the most part they stick to the same basic principals. And the one main rule is that you follow your sect's Ordnung without question. Technology isn't completely shunned by the Amish, it's considered when it's presented to them on how it will effect their community. One particular sect that I read about adopted the use of cars but then their young adults literally all disappeared out into the wide world when they got a taste of life in modern times. So they withdrew that order lol. One sect adopted the telephone until they figured out that the system they were using made it so that they could eavesdrop on each other which led to massive gossip and contention in the community. No more phones there.
And then in June, young William Yoder a woodworker (too many jokes) and Amish got himself busted for sexting a 12yr old girl when he pulled up in his horse and buggy to pick her up. Authorities discovered over 600 messages, naked pictures and videos between him and the girl. Sexting isn't a new story. Pulling up in a horse drawn buggy for a sex date? Now that is hilarious! Come on dude, I understand that the Amish communities can be small but seriously you can't find a date? Your telling me in all those Amish communities there isn't one hot and horny chick in a bonnet waiting for a roll around in the hay loft, that's statistically impossible!!
There's the funny, here's the crazy.
An extremist sect of Amish led by Samuel Mullet Sr (ironic last name considering the story) and some of his followers found themselves arrested and charged with Hate Crimes. Mr. Mullet (can't get enough of that) said the crimes were "revenge and punishment for departing families that didn't support the Sects cause." Citing that the families should have obeyed the sect's Ordnung.
What crime did Mullet and his followers commit? They restrained the males of the departing families and cut of the men's beards and hair using scissors and electric clippers. Evidently this is as humiliating as cutting of a Jew's Peyes (curly sideburns). For people that limit technology and cutting their hair and beards is sacrilege, what the fuck were they doing with hair clippers????
No cars, no home telephone service. iPhones and hair clippers are Aces?? These people are confused and I think this is because they are trying too hard to find a middle ground. Either stay with the simple or convert to the modern people because obviously this middle of the road shit does not work for you.
Usually I begin with my favorite news find but I saved this one for last. If anyone is looking for a last minute gift for me, here it is!!
Scottsdale Arizona Gun Club is offering families and kids pictures with Santa Claus! Pictures of Santa Claus with your choice of AR15 with or without grenade launcher, grenade launcher on it's own, AK47, or a vast array of super weapons. Did I mention that Santa will also be packing heat in the picture?? This is my Santa! I want this Santa to visit my house this Christmas, yes please and thank you!! A gun toting, NRA card carrying Santa? This is my proof that there is a God!!The gun club stated it's their way of combing the celebration of Christmas and our 2nd Amendment rights. RIGHT ON SCOTTSDALE!!! Knew I should have moved there this summer when I had the damn chance.
Till next time Faithful Readers,
BEX
Dear Santa,
I want a custom AR15 and a Walther P99 with a pink grip please? I'll be good, promise!!
