Haven't really felt like writing in a while. Too much on my mind, too much stress, too much pent up anger over situations that I let control me instead of me controlling the situations.
My dad and my friend Maverick say that I am too accommodating to people that take advantage of me. I have never really looked at it that way. I always saw it as giving someone the opportunity to be the good person that I see inside of them. People don't always see other people the same way that I do, no matter how they act I always try to look for the good in a person, see the light inside of them that might not be apparent to everyone else on the planet. I give multiple chances to people and I don't like to say goodbye to anyone that's been in my life because I like to believe that eventually they'll see in themselves what I see in them.
I had to walk away from one person that I care about very much. It's all just better if there is distance between the two of us. The whole situation is just unhealthy for us both, no one's fault, no one to blame, it just plain does not work. If he called me up today and said he needed me, I'd be there without a second thought. However, I have to have boundaries for my own mental and emotional well being. Nothing really to be done about it but shrug, accept it as it is and move along. Keep it all black and white. ;)
Kicked my room mate out finally. He did something that I considered disrespectful and dishonorable to another friend of ours. I told him exactly that. He got pissed that I questioned his honor and decided to spear me off my bed and attempt to choke me out in front of my kid. Yep that about shows you his idea of "Honor". Considering he's lived off of me for 8 months and only in the past 3 weeks started contributing a whopping $35-$70 a week, yeah not feeling the loss. And as far as the "friendship" goes well, with friends like that who needs enemy's?? There's too much bullshit in the last 12 years to begin to list. Every single person that's been in my life in those years has had something to say about this situation and I have continually turned a deaf ear, now I'm listening. Now I am done. But just because I am done does not mean the multitude of you can begin with the "I told you so's" because my dad already beat you to it!
My buddy's girlfriend passed away this week. She wasn't someone that I knew particularly well but I liked her and my heart hurts for him. He loved her. Been doing my best to help him through it and be there for him when he needs it. It's been rough on him and it makes my heart ache to see him hurt because he's such a strong person and has already had so many negative things happen to him this year. I believe that he will be able to work through this all and I hope that good things come soon to him.
Today has been a disappointment, something happened that hurt my feelings. But after everything that has happened recently, I realized how completely insignificant it was and I felt stupid for feeling hurt even for a moment.
I once wrote that out of destruction comes creation. It was a blog about things coming to an end so that other things can begin.
I will turn and walk away from all of this having learned allot of hard lessons. I will take away from this what I have learned and I will be a better person for it. Tomorrow the sun will rise on a new day and with it the opportunity for me to be the person that I have not given myself the chance to be. I have changed my path significantly, I will begin to change my stars and for once in a very long time, I have hope and a smile that isn't forced or fake.
"After all, tomorrow is another day!"
Till next time Faithful Readers,
BEX THE OPTIMISTIC :)
My dad and my friend Maverick say that I am too accommodating to people that take advantage of me. I have never really looked at it that way. I always saw it as giving someone the opportunity to be the good person that I see inside of them. People don't always see other people the same way that I do, no matter how they act I always try to look for the good in a person, see the light inside of them that might not be apparent to everyone else on the planet. I give multiple chances to people and I don't like to say goodbye to anyone that's been in my life because I like to believe that eventually they'll see in themselves what I see in them.
I had to walk away from one person that I care about very much. It's all just better if there is distance between the two of us. The whole situation is just unhealthy for us both, no one's fault, no one to blame, it just plain does not work. If he called me up today and said he needed me, I'd be there without a second thought. However, I have to have boundaries for my own mental and emotional well being. Nothing really to be done about it but shrug, accept it as it is and move along. Keep it all black and white. ;)
Kicked my room mate out finally. He did something that I considered disrespectful and dishonorable to another friend of ours. I told him exactly that. He got pissed that I questioned his honor and decided to spear me off my bed and attempt to choke me out in front of my kid. Yep that about shows you his idea of "Honor". Considering he's lived off of me for 8 months and only in the past 3 weeks started contributing a whopping $35-$70 a week, yeah not feeling the loss. And as far as the "friendship" goes well, with friends like that who needs enemy's?? There's too much bullshit in the last 12 years to begin to list. Every single person that's been in my life in those years has had something to say about this situation and I have continually turned a deaf ear, now I'm listening. Now I am done. But just because I am done does not mean the multitude of you can begin with the "I told you so's" because my dad already beat you to it!
My buddy's girlfriend passed away this week. She wasn't someone that I knew particularly well but I liked her and my heart hurts for him. He loved her. Been doing my best to help him through it and be there for him when he needs it. It's been rough on him and it makes my heart ache to see him hurt because he's such a strong person and has already had so many negative things happen to him this year. I believe that he will be able to work through this all and I hope that good things come soon to him.
Today has been a disappointment, something happened that hurt my feelings. But after everything that has happened recently, I realized how completely insignificant it was and I felt stupid for feeling hurt even for a moment.
I once wrote that out of destruction comes creation. It was a blog about things coming to an end so that other things can begin.
I will turn and walk away from all of this having learned allot of hard lessons. I will take away from this what I have learned and I will be a better person for it. Tomorrow the sun will rise on a new day and with it the opportunity for me to be the person that I have not given myself the chance to be. I have changed my path significantly, I will begin to change my stars and for once in a very long time, I have hope and a smile that isn't forced or fake.
"After all, tomorrow is another day!"
Till next time Faithful Readers,
BEX THE OPTIMISTIC :)
No comments:
Post a Comment