People Watching, Vaginasaurus-Rex A Public Service Announcement

This one might be a bit lengthy. I've had allot of amusement lately! Let's start with last Wednesday, I managed to have an incredibly awesome and productive day, I accomplished so much and still got to wander the library for an hour! Which for me, is like Christmas morning. It was really, really nice out that day, Ian and I decided to order some pizza for pick up and head down to my man's work to waste some time. As I was fixin' to take off from there I remembered that I wanted to cut these stupid zip ties off of my seatbelt. Well, as would be expected I got 3 out of 4 of them off before I stabbed myself in the hand with a box cutter!

I received 3 pretty blue stitches and a couple of good chuckles. Starting with the complete failure of a woman that registered me in the ER. My hand was completely wrapped up and I had it held up above my heart, which is pretty much the only bit of first aid that I retained! This woman looks at me completely straight faced and says "Ms. Was this an intentional injury?" "Are you serious, right now, really?? You can see where I cut the damn thing, who the FUCK, intentionally stabs themselves in the side of their hand????"

I was a bit light headed at that point and my patience was wearing quite thin. See, I am scary calm when there are injuries, scary calm. Eventually though the adrenaline wears off, crisis gets a professional in on it and then I get allot less than calm! I was sliding down that slippery slope pretty damn fast! Jason came to be with me at the ER but not in time to stop 3 more people from asking me if "This was an intentional injury. Ms do you feel safe at home?" Do I feel safe at home, yep didn't happen at home and there's no box cutter there :) so as you can see, home is quite safe!

Let's move on to the main topic, shall we? Everyone knows that I absolutely love people watching. There was a blog that I wrote in 2011 about an observation I had in the bar one night, skip past the paragraph about Kirk Cameron and you'll find it.
http://bexchaosandcandy.blogspot.com/2011/01/kirk-cameron-self-awareness-and-funny.html
Here's the excerpt if you don't feel like reading the whole thing:
 "I had to laugh because I noticed an interesting social anomaly last night, we've all noticed that girls travel in packs and that pack ALWAYS has 1 fat and/or ugly girl that one of your buddies is going to get stuck with for which you will owe him a massive debt. But have you ever noticed that short people travel in packs also? Yep, little groups of people 5ft 4in and shorter roll in tiny smurf packs AND every 3rd one has 1 tall person! I'm not making this up! Really, seriously! Short people travel in clusters and pack 1 tall guy/girl for backup it would seem. Now when I go out I always pack 3 or 4 big guys and 2 or 3 smaller guys that are scrappy as fuck so you underestimate them and are dumb enough to go after the big guys. I NEVER travel in packs of short people because then the attention wouldn't be immediately focused on ME! And let's be real Readers I've said it time and again, I am a self involved creature first and foremost. I got a big giggle out of watching the Smurf Packs circulate the place. They had tiny migration paths that they followed and of course my imagination took this to the next level and I kept waiting for the tiny little packs to wander too close to the packs of taller people and just have 1 of the taller peoples heads turn into a T-Rex and snatch one of the helpless smurfs out of their pack. I have a brilliantly vivid imagination."

Saturday I noticed a new anomaly. When your sitting at the bar and it's the early onset of their "Dance Nights" you can't help but people watch, it's inevitable. Someone or someones are going to catch your attention. I kept noticing the groups of women. Always coming in pairs or groups of 3, never more never less. 2's or 3's is actually a pretty smart strategy, not too many so that one gets left out, just enough to make it fair game. I watched 2 that could have been extras on The Jersey Shore and watching the one in particular, chomp on her gum as hard as she was, made me thank Jesus I don't have a penis! Women, please, this is not attractive! AND, it's disconcerting to the opposite sex to watch your mouth work like that! In the past referenced blog I noticed "Smurf Packs" and imagined them getting eaten by the larger predators in close proximity. Saturday I found the largest, meanest, snarliest of ALL predators and every trio of women had one.

Gentlemen be on the lookout for the Vaginasaurus-Rex!!! It traveled in the trio's, you can spot them by the look in their black lined eyes when they see a guy that looks like a picture definition of frat boy, their upper lip curls up and they start looking at any male nearby like he's a freaking Hot Pocket!! Manhaters are like Velociraptors but the real queen of the single's jungle is Vaginasaurus-Rex! I was terrified for every dude in that place! And they stack the deck by making certain the other 2 members of their pack are 1 insecure, easy chick and 1 fat girl that looks like she just wants to go home and curl up with a gallon of ice cream. Be on the lookout for this trio, guys and stay out of reach because the V-Rex is always ready to snatch the weakest member of your herd!!!

Till Next Time, Faithful Readers!

BEX!

Damn Your Minty Goodness, Tylenol Cold Medicine!!! And Some Other Funny Stuff!

Once again, Faithful Readers, I find myself put on my ass by a nasty cold. About once a year I get knock down sick and it's never fun. I hate being sick. I mean c'mon, yeah nobody likes to get a cold but I get truly messed up when I catch a cold. I can't function in any human way and everything hurts terribly to the point that I just want to sit and cry but that would stuff me up more and the fact that I can't breathe makes me claustrophobic. Yep, this sick thing isn't for me. I wrote a blog maybe 3 years ago when I got sick the last time and as I was taking my shot of Blue Minty Death, Oops I mean Tylenol Cold Medicine, I remembered that blog. Here's a link if you don't remember it. http://bexchaosandcandy.blogspot.com/2010/10/cold-medicine-untapped-fun-or-devil.html

I wasn't lying, being congested and/or stuffed up makes me horribly claustrophobic. I get super anxious when I can't breathe through my nose which makes it really hard to sleep. So I end up snorting nasal spray like a junkie and chasing it with that old familiar demon juice, Tylenol Cold Multi-Symptom. Seriously, even after 3 years I can't figure out if that stuff is completely awesome or the darkest shade of pure evil. It kills the symptoms of your cold but it also makes you not care if the house burns down around you either!! I'm serious, once that pretty blue liquid hits your system just hang up what ever you were planning to do because it's not getting done.

So after 2 days of near comatose cold medicine state of mind, I decided today was the day to quit cold turkey and just suck it up! I finally unpacked my work space and organized it :) So that I can better entertain you, Faithful Readers!!

So at least that's finished, finally!!! However, I did not think the whole thing through as of course is my nature. I went balls to the wall, cold med free into this task and never stopped to think of the disaster that would occur after. Yeah, 2 hours of unpacking, sorting, organizing, moving around boxes, I feel like death on a stale cracker! Now, once again, not saying anyone actually likes being sick but for one reason or another when I get sick I get tremendously sick. This doesn't work for someone that is use to being on the hyperactive end of life 24/7, sitting still for two days feeling like this has killed me. I am quite literally sick of being sick! Which leads me to some funny observations......

Did you know that there is actual juice in Orange Juice? Yeah, you can taste it when there's no Vodka in it and let me tell you, it tastes mighty funny without vodka!! I thought it went bad or something! For that matter so does, Sunny Delight, Fruit Punch and Berry Punch.........so I added Vodka and now they taste just fine :)

My mom's best friend brought a small claims lawsuit against a local Dunkin' Donuts because their flavorings didn't list an almond extract and she is highly allergic to almonds thus resulting in one hell of an allergic reaction! She lost the lawsuit because on the bottles of flavoring it says "And Natural Flavorings".

And in other small claims court news, my ex Maverick won his case against me but will receive no compensation as I receive my dead husbands pension. But of course I will receive threatening letters about payment due every few months constituting a wagging of a political finger in my general direction! 

So as you can see the small claims division of our court system works for no one, but is amusing!! 

In other legal news, my 1 year conditional is officially expired and I am now free to smash someone's face in as is my constitutional right! Coincidence, oh I think not!!

New relationship is going well although, it does throw me off a bit. Not entirely use to a relationship, ya know? So there are adjustments as would be expected, nothing bad but actually kind of funny! Think you'll get a kick out of this!

2 days ago he showed up on his lunch break to check up on me because I was beginning my cold. Or that's the reason he gave me and I just figured he forgot something cuz come on, never had that happen before. While he was home on break I mentioned a tea that I like when I am sick. 2 hours later he's calling me to ask exactly what kind of tea it was, uuummmm ? Okay, I think to myself, he's just being super sweet because we are relatively new. Then the next day I was feeling worse than the first day, he once again shows up on his lunch break. This time packing multiple hot soups! 

I panicked. 

Straight, panicked. 

I sent a frantic phone call to my best brother Dave as soon as my love left to head back to work, freaking the hell out, screeching in my sick, congested, Muppet voice!! Panicked, I tell you! "What is the Standard Operational Procedure in this?? Thank you note, gift basket, flowers, a card?? Help me figure this the FUCK out NOW!!!!" 

Dave laughed at me for a solid 5 minutes. Laughed. 

First of all, the fact that I was considering this a situation to completely lose my shit while I'm sick as hell was apparently almost as amusing as Second of all, my complete and utter lack of knowledge on caring adult relationships. So Dave's reply was "Well, usually reciprocating the feeling works fine however, a gift basket would be HILARIOUS!" 

I need to find more girls to hang out with. 

Come to find out there are WWII ruins behind and under my new apartment complex. Yep, there use to be a munitions factory and depot here! I'm still exploring it physically and the history behind it all but here's some cool pix:

That's my roomie in the background getting dragged through the woods with me :)

Also went apple picking with my man and his children and had a blast as usual at his Mom's place!

All in all, life is good despite the massive doses of Tylenol Cold! However my belief in it's ability to cure me has wavered and I think it's just that I'm sick because there is a serious lack of alcohol in my body soooooo.............

CHEERS MATES!!!!

Till Next Time, Faithful Readers.....

BEX THE ALL POWERFUL!!!

New Life, Same Procrastination!

It's been a seriously crazy month and a half, Faithful Readers. I apologize for being absent for so long but as you well know by now, if I'm absent for an extended period of time it's because the Universe went to a whole new level of Chaotic even for Bex. When last I posted, I was in full Summer mode and had made the realization that I could in fact, be happy again. It was an exciting time in my little Bex Bubble. The problem with this way of thinking is that I put on my blinders and headed down that path not realizing I was about to be blindsided by "Murphy". There's too much that happened in such a short period of time for me to detail it all. Suffice to say it was all snowballed into a 2 week period of residing on the 7th Level Of Hell.

Then, I moved. New apartment, no more mold issues, no more kitchen wall falling down, no more running into the Ex from Hell, no more upstairs asshole neighbors. It's all over.

In the process of Bex World collapsing it actually began to renew simultaneously. I made a new friend through my buddy Tony that would become pivotal in my new life and my survival in the destruction of the old life. I reconnected with someone from my past that made me see that.......well we'll get to that. And most of all, if it weren't for the emotional support of my best buddies I wouldn't have made it through. Tony, most of all. He's a good friend and when I'm stressed and freaking out he becomes my rock and reminds me that I can and will get past anything that comes my way. I couldn't have done it without him by my side and have a new appreciation for his friendship.

Now even though I have a whole new life, I still have the same tendency to procrastination in the morning lol. Yep I'm sitting here in my Transformers Jammies, sipping coffee, listening to the news and writing to you my Faithful Readers. Nothing has changed in that aspect.

Unfortunately, I am living without cable and just got internet a few days ago so my current events/world news knowledge is limited to talk radio. LOL, as of course nothing can happen smoothly even in the new life, I have a TV but it's older so I required a converter box. Finally got that and an antenna, it's Sunday. Bex has football!!! Oh wait no, no Bex doesn't because I finally got the damn converter box hooked up and working but the antenna is broken, wtf!!! Of course I could get cable and completely bypass this whole issue however, someone I trusted evidently used my information to have a cable account and now it will cost me over $500 just to get this set up, not an option at the moment. Well we have internet so I'm thinking that I will be finding a site to live stream my football because I will be damned if I miss football!!!

My new place is kinda far out into the suburbs. Beautiful area, lots of amenities in the community. One of these being miles and miles of walking trails! This excited me, I like walking and hiking and especially in a wooded natural environment. Me and the roomie decided to finally go check this out the other day because it's right outside my door!! Talk about some incredible luck!

Everyone knows that I am a huge history buff and especially local history. There isn't much about Central NY that I don't know. Except this, right outside my door, along these walking paths are these crazy abandoned structures and  paved roads! Where the hell did these come from and why do neither myself or my room mate know about this?? We had literally only gotten 30 yards from my door and came across a wonderful older gentleman that we approached, asking if he knew what these foundations were from. What luck, he did know! He explained that this whole area was once a munitions works in WWII! All of these old structures are part of a military installation that built and stored armor piercing munitions! How perfect is that? I literally live in my perfect place, local history I wasn't aware of, abandoned structures that I can explore at my leisure and photograph! This makes me blissfully happy in a way that is inexplicable. How does life get better in Bex World you ask? Let me tell you how this wonderful new life got tied up with the perfect bow.

Earlier I mentioned that I reconnected with someone from my past and that we'd get to that explanation. Often in life the old saying that you'll find something when your not looking for it happens to be very true. In the midst of chaos and the destruction of my World, in the middle of me personally breaking down in the worst ways possible emotionally, I managed to find someone that I had often thought about through the years. Sometimes I would ask old friends if they knew how he was doing or if they knew what had happened to him. Always to no avail. One time I did hear some news on him and it seemed to be happy news so I left it alone but it didn't stop that fleeting thought from occurring from time to time. He was my first love, my first High School sweetheart, you always wonder what's happened to that first love. That love that seems to teach you the ups and downs of love and so often ends in teen angst the likes of a Shakespeare play. He found me and we began to talk every now and again. We hung out one evening and when it came to needing help moving, he offered to help out. From that day on it's very much so been like living in one of those fairytale stories that I love so much to get lost in. Neither of our lives is perfect and we are both jaded and a bit broken but it would seem that our broken pieces fit together to make us both whole. He makes me happy in all ways humanly possible and what's more, he makes me want to look forward with hope instead of just existing in the now, to believe that having a partner in life to share life with, just may in fact be possible. I look into his blue eyes and see all the beauty of the world inside one man's heart and soul. It amazes me that no one has seen it there, I get lost in the wonder of sharing time with him. I wasn't looking for this, I definitely wasn't expecting anything like this to happen. Especially after not too distant debacles of the heart and so many years of resigning myself to an individual, single lifestyle. Sometimes you do find exactly what you want when your least expecting it.

Till Next Time Faithful Readers,

NEW AND IMPROVED BEX

P.S. I promise we'll go back to normal Chaos and Candy content when next we meet :) 

It's The Little Things

 Been a busy Bex! It's Summer and I try not to stay still during the warm weather in Syracuse. There's always something going on here during the warm months and I'm loathe to let any of it happen without me there! Early in the season I started a kind of tradition. Usually I'm pretty big on getting pictures or little memento's of whatever big event I'm at. But this year I've gone a bit bigger with that tradition because I needed the positive reinforcement. I'm kind of simple in the way that I don't appreciate bought items as much as I appreciate found items. Even if it's just a sparkly rock, it touches my heart more than anything you could ever purchase for me. Not saying I don't like bought presents but it means more to me that if you truly know me and the things that I like, you find me something instead.

When my relationship ended in the beginning of May, it hit me really hard and I was actually pretty depressed for awhile. May is when things really start to gear up here in Syracuse socially. So I made a conscious effort to get out there and start living again, A) Because I needed to get over the funk I was in B) When I was with Mav, we never did ANYTHING. I watched him get drunk at his place and wander the neighborhoods looking for scrap. It was a boring and pathetic year.

Okay, back to the story!!

So the adventures began! I have been all over the city to every event I could get to!! Crawfish Fest, Jazz Fest, Balloon Fest, Taste Of Syracuse, and every concert in between! I'm at Sharkey's every Thursday for the free concerts, on Tuesdays for trivia night, Toby Keith's on Fridays for their concerts and the killer nacho's! I've been to Cross Lake, hiking in Oswego twice, hiking at Clarks Reservation, hunting for relics at the sites of the old resorts on Onondaga lake, Pratts Falls, Owego to see my buddy race his motorcycle, Weedsport, Fulton 3 times, Volney more times than I can count, Port Byron, plus the constant BBQ's and parties at my place, I've actually lost track of all the shows in all the different places!

Behind my work desk I have a blank wall where I usually stick my post it ideas and little souvenir's like ticket stubs. In order to continually remind myself that I am in fact living my life to the fullest, making excellent memories of good times and good friends and really putting myself out there 100%, I made an "I Love Summer" wall. Every time I'm working, I look up at the wall and it's bizarre contents and can't help but smile!! Like myself, it's contents are eclectic and random but I love every single trinket!

Summer is far from over and I hope by the time it does end to have completely filled this wall with memories of a fantastic time in my life! I'm going to say, Till Next Time Faithful Readers, now and leave you with some cool pictures of my adventures. BEX THE ADVENTURER!!

The Wall! Lais,beads,guitar pix,stolen table number,autographed straw,wrist bands,photo with Rebel DJ, etc

The Wall!

Earth Crisis :)

Clark's Reservation

Clark's Rez

Oswego Lighthouse

Ronnie's Race Bike

Owego NY

Mojito at TGI Friday's

Friends at The Lost Horizon

Pratt's Falls

Damn Honey Bear at Sharkey's

I don't think that I like the internet much

Once again I find myself at the hurry up and wait phase which of course will be followed by the whirlwind of activity. Happens every time, I sit here bored to death and then *poof* magic plans fall from the sky and I have to hurry. I quite literally have 3 speeds in my life, 1) waiting 2) going faster than the speed of light 3) asleep.

My summer vacation has officially begun seeing as how I got paroled from being a parent for the next 4 days! Really hoping it's not one of those mini-vaca's that end up with me sitting here watching everything in the Netflix queue!

As I was sitting here in my hold pattern, perfectly makeup'd and waiting for clearance to head out, I was of course trolling Facebook and Twitter. I realized that as much as I am addicted to the internet, I don't necessarily like it very much at all. As extroverted as I am I find that I don't like constant contact with people in general. I prefer my own quiet, sheltered little World where I can wear pajama's and not talk if I don't want to. Yes, there are times when my walls close in on me and I decide to venture out into reality and crave actual human contact but that usually only lasts a day or two.

With social media there are 2 pitfalls for a person such as Bex. When I left my home state of New York in 1992 I didn't keep in touch, didn't tell anyone I left, I just ghosted. Even when I came back, I didn't tell anyone I was here for quite some time. And then I ghosted again. Social media gave me the chance to reconnect with some truly awesome people that I had stupidly let fade out of my life. However, for every 3 cool people you get to connect with there is that 1 person, that 1 damn person! The person that you hated 20 years ago and lo and behold, that person found you AND is still a massive ASSHOLE. You'd think that in 20 years the asshole would learn they are in fact an asshole and fucking change, right? No, they've become a bigger asshole. And that asshole is now following you on Twitter and you have a million friends in common on Facebook and that fucktard is commenting on all your tagged posts and tweets. Dude, I don't want you invading my world, go away!!!

The 2nd pitfall is the over sharer. They're on a social media site posting every step they take, clogging up your stream so that now you can't find that damn post about the upcoming free concert in 3 hours but you can see 18,000 pictures of your friends kid that progresses like a cyber flip book chronicling that kids day from breakfast to lunch AND you can find the 3 recipes that person used for all 3 daily meals! Oh yipee!! Without fail that same over sharer will tag, like or comment on everything you post even if there is no relevancy to them in the whole Universe! Don't like my post "Cut sling load, pop smoke and head down range, hero!" because you don't even know what the fuck it means!?!?! Why would you like that, why would you comment on it, it wasn't meant for you although it is the route I'm going to take to avoid you.

I lied, there are 4 pitfalls of the internet.

Google. Damn your awesome knowledge Google!! I Google everything and anything, I am addicted to Google. I love Google. I will believe anything Google tells me because it's Google. Not so long ago I got a bladder infection, happens to me all the time no big deal. I always have antibiotics on hand but that first day is just hell as anyone that gets chronic bladder infections will tell you. I got the brilliant idea to Google home remedies for bladder infections. Being the responsible researcher that I am, I of course looked at all the pages that popped up with answers. Resoundingly they all gave the same answer, teaspoon of baking soda in a glass of water, drink. Evidently the cure for a bladder infection is the same as how to become bulimic because after taking this little home remedy your body will absorb no food at all. However you will lose 10 pounds in a day! And your bladder still hurts. Google broke my heart that day, it led me down a false road. Damn you, Google!!

Stupid internet deals. I'm a fairly intelligent person but if you throw a shiny ad about a new skin care line at me, I will snatch it up. I got duped so badly by Hydroxatone! It's supposed to be a month's free supply and then if you keep it, they charge you. No, they charge you a week after you receive the package!! $140!! Then you have to jump through 19 hoops and talk to the whole population of Indian Call Centers to get a return label! Then, it's a month before you get credited again. Oh and by the way, Hydroxatone SUCKS!! Made my skin look ten years older except for the acne I suddenly developed using this horrible shit.

That's my rant for today, Faithful Readers. Till Next Time.....

BEX!

Where's this technology?

To begin with, last night ROCKED! Had a great time at Sharkey's with some good friends and made new ones! Today however, could end at any time and I would be most thankful! I have a hangover, I'm out of smokes and going through nicotine withdrawl, this is not a pleasant feeling. I was awake entirely too early this morning so I've had allot of time to notice some really annoying things.

We can put people in Space, on the internet you can be talking to some old friend from high school and chat with some stranger in Patagonia, with cell phones you can call anyone, anytime, anywhere, technology is amazing! We live in astonishing times, Faithful Readers! Now with that being said, I have some questions....

With all this technology and all these amazing feats of engineering, why can't we have plastic wrap that actually works like it's supposed to? Why is it so hard to make plastic wrap that sticks to something besides itself?

Why can't a brand new roll of toilet paper be easier to unroll? Why does it have to tear into the other layers when you try to pull it apart so that you end up with a handful of shredded toilet paper? Is there no adhesive on planet Earth that can be used???

NASA has created batteries that will last for a century so what is the valid reason that my cell phone won't last me through a single freaking day?

Why do we need commercials for things we absolutely use and need every day? Is there a person not using dish soap, shampoo, toilet paper, toothpaste? Do we need to inform people that these necessity's exist??

If all of these anti-aging creams and washes work, why isn't everyone walking around looking like they're 17 years old?

Where is this technology? Why can't we work on this? Screw flying cars and food replicator's and lightsabers I want plastic wrap that sticks to the freaking bowl!!

Till Next Time, Faithful Readers,

BEX!

Time to kill and Sarah Palin (Again)

So I'm fixin' to head out for the evening as is Thursday tradition, but my makeup and outfit took less time than I ever thought possible so there's time to kill. I feel this need to look FABULOUS tonight as I ran into Maverick and the girl he cheated on me with and yes, it hurt. I have set out on a mission to be the center of everyone's attention tonight and as per Bex S.O.P, I will succeed :)

Couple of things caught my attention this past week. One of which is Sarah Palin.

Ah, Miss Palin, how I have missed you!! Now usually that would be followed by a 4 paragraph rant about the Evil Queen Of Republicans, I hate to disappoint but this one time, Sarah Palin melted my cold, black, little heart! Follow the below link, scroll down to the first video and start it at about 5:30 and just sit back!!!

http://www.sarahpac.com/


I laughed for about 15 minutes at her speech and agreed with every word! I know, Faithful Readers, I know, I expected to slam on her too! Hopefully this isn't the sign of impending doom, LOL!!

Since the end of my relationship with Maverick, I've attempted to work my way past all the crappy feelings and move on. Even I couldn't predict how poorly this was going to work out! Since re-entering the single pool after quite awhile, I have discovered that I despise it and am sincerely no good at it. For fuck's sake, I'm better at welding than being single!!!! And FYI, I suck rancid monkey balls at welding!!!

Truly, this sucks. I have to be the only woman on the planet that can NOT pull down a one night stand, can NOT get bought a drink and absolutely can NOT pick anyone half way freaking normal, up. The one guy I got interested in was older and kept telling me he was looking for a "Good girl to settle down with" and then ended it when I didn't fuck him on the 3rd date! Uuummmm, you can't say one thing and expect me to understand that you meant the opposite! You said you wanted a "Good Girl" so that's what I ran with!! How do you expect me to figure this cheap, silly, little game out?? Now mind you at Taste Of Syracuse it came out that he in fact WAS in a relationship and hadn't ended it, a fact that was only uncovered when we ran into her! I walked away, LOL. The 1 guy I got ahold of was drop dead sexy as hell and come to find out, holding down 2 families between here and Chicago! WTF???

Reader's these are just the most recent 2. I won't go into detail but suffice to say that the ones before were worse! Way, way, way, worse!

It is completely impossible to see whose running a game, whose honest, who just wants to fuck and who wants a relationship. I wasn't this confused in AP Physics!

I have completely given up. I tried, I failed, oh well. Now I'm at the mind set of whatever comes along, comes along but fuck that effort shit, It AIN'T worth it!!! Love me, hate me, wanna fuck me, I don't care.

Meanwhile, my efforts to become a full blown alcoholic by Summer's end is coming along quite nicely :)

Time to go touch up and head out!! Till Next Time, Faithful Readers!

BEX the forever single, party girl in your heart <3

Freeflys, Women's Freebies, b Savings, freebie websites in general (a Cheerier blog)

For the most part I'm pretty savvy about internet scams. I know you can't win an iPad for just sharing a picture on Facebook and all that jazz. But even I sometimes fail! A friend suggested I check out the Facebook page Freeflys. So I checked out the website and attempted to join because it looked legit. First of all, the website wouldn't accept my address as valid and it took 3 weeks emailing back and forth with their webmaster to get it straight. At one point the webmaster quite honestly said to me "It's not a valid address, it doesn't exist according to the USPS!" to which I replied "Fucking idiot, how have I lived here for almost 3 years and receive mail here every day of the week if it isn't a valid fucking address????" Eventually it all got cleared up.

From Freeflys I was introduced to Women's Freebies, b savings and a couple others. I signed up for quite a few freebie samples and even was surprised to find out allot of companies offer full size samples, pretty cool huh?

Then I got an ugly wake up call to reality. My first sample was of Kate Spade perfume. Suffice to say, you get bigger perfume samples from magazines. I'm not kidding, it was a cardboard swab of perfume no bigger than a matchbook!!!

Okay, well I thought maybe it's a fluke. It took over 6 weeks for that sample to arrive even though I had been requesting freebies for a month steady. 4 weeks after the perfume debacle, yesterday to be exact. The mailman rang the bell and handed me two packages, 1 tiny and 1 really good size. About the size of a decent paperback. I was so super excited!!! Oooooohhhh, is it nail polish, my burt's bees lip glosses, lotion, what treasures could this decent size box be hiding??? Could hardly contain my glee as I ripped open this wonderful box!!!

A FULL SIZE SAMPLE!!!

Of maxi pads.

Fucking Maxi Pads! Seriously, really!?!

I have since deleted all those stupid websites.

LOL!!

Till Next Time, Faithful Readers,

BEX, nothing in this life is free readers!!!

Temporary

I was doing allot of thinking on Saturday because something was bothering me. There's a person in my life that when they're upset, they will find any way possible to pick a fight for no reason. Generally I'm observant enough to see it coming and make a hasty exit before I become the target however this time against my better judgment I stayed. Now as a rule, someone picking a fight with me for NO reason except that I'm physically there, aggravates me in a big way and I'll react to it. Now someone starting a fight with me for no reason and then calling me a liar, that's recipe for disaster.

So now you have the context that you need to understand why I'm writing this blog. I had over a day to think about it and this is what I came up with. I hope you take something away from this, Faithful Readers.

Temporary. Generally when you think of temporary, you think rather negatively "Oh, it won't be here forever so I won't put forth the effort!" but when you stop and think about it, really think about it, nothing is permanent in this world. Not even life is permanent, no one lives forever and no one gets out alive. It's temporary, long term but still temporary.

Likes, dislikes, success, failure, hard times, good times, laughter, tears, broken hearts, messiness, cleanliness, shyness, friendships, enemies, jobs, families, beauty, ugliness, even Love.

Everything in this world is temporary and is not meant to last. What your feeling right now in your life, will pass to something different. What your doing in and with your life right now, will pass to a whole different situation. Everything changes, that's the way of Nature. There is a duality in Nature that exists even in our lives.

I believe after having given this some serious thought, that once we realize how very temporary all aspects of our lives and even our lives themselves are, it gives us the perspective we need to live a better more fulfilling existence while we are here.

Arguments and fights no longer matter, walk away from it and LET IT GO. Hard times don't last, wait it out because the Sun will shine again. Your heart is broken in to a million tiny shards but your still breathing and will find love again. Whatever hurts now will heal with time and the scars that you carry with you are reminders to not make that mistake again.

All eventually passes into something new, Faithful Readers.

Till Next Time,
BEX the ever evolving.

Complete Nonsense

There will be no point, no plot, no outline, rhyme or reason to this particular blog. If it gets finished Faithful Reader, you will read it and say to yourself "I just read 10 minutes of my life away for no particular reason!" but I am completely certain you may get a giggle or 2 out of it and maybe even a small life lesson from my many mistakes.

Last week was fraught with some serious drama. I lost my temper completely at least 3 times, I mean seriously straight to the point, snapped! That is not the person that I currently am. When I was younger I fought constantly, finished the bullshit others started and let my temper control me. As the years have passed, I've learned to control myself with the realization that negative energy begets negative results, life is too short to let bullshit rule your world. Now with that being said let's revisit the fact that I managed to lose my composure on more than one occasion in a really short period of time! I am a fierce person when it comes to the people and things that I truly love but I am also intelligent enough to realize when people are just trying to start shitty drama because they are jealous and petty. Generally that knowledge makes it easy to shrug it off and walk away with out another thought. This was not one of those times. I am happy at the outcome and want to send a heartfelt Thank You to the envious ass-monkey's that tried to disrupt and dismantle and generally demolish my life and happiness! Thank You!! You showed me how strong I am, how strong my relationship is and how much love is in my world from my man and from friends that are willing to show up at my house in 2 minutes and drive me to beat the ever livin' hell outta somebody, no questions asked! I have solidity in my world that you showed to me and reminded me how lucky and blessed I really, truly am.

Of course dealing with that kind of nonsense leaves a person emotionally exhausted, my man was home for extra days this week so together we had to accomplish as much as possible in a short period of time before he left town again and me and my bestie have plans early for the next 2 days so I have officially declared a non-day in Bex World. A non-day is a day that does not exist, you skip it entirely. No chores, no routine, no running around, no outside contact, no nothing. I am sitting in my sweats watching a season of Shameless, sipping cold coffee with no plans and I am strangely okay with having no aspirations today. I was up at 4:30 AM until 8 AM and only slept for 2 more hours so any motivation I would have had was lost.

So let's wander through some Random, just you and I!

On my work space and in my purse you will always find a notebook because I get random thoughts for blogs and if I don't write it down right away I lose the thought completely. LOL, sometimes this little practice of writing down random, errant thought patterns backfires on me. I write down the initial thought but forget to write down exactly where that thought was suppose to be going! So I end up with a page of truly random half sentences, words, numbers.

This is always sitting next to my computer!

 Which isn't bad except when someone not use to my erratic thought patterns, happens by and reads what is on the page. On the left side of the page in big letters it reads "You are not Gay, you are financially frustrated" Now at the time this was written down, I was about 8 beers deep, Mav and I were talking about God knows what and he said this. At the time, I remember laughing and going "Hell yeah, that's an awesome blog!" However, I failed to write down the context of this statement and where it was supposed to be heading, now I have a slightly offensive bit of nonsense that I have no explanation for. Thankfully this doesn't happen very often, B was in my room reading my wall of post it note ideas and thoughts and I was able to explain each and every one. But there's always that exception and somehow it always ends up being something off the wall, offensive or disgusting. Damn!

As creative and chaotic as my personality is, I am a creature of habit. I find certain things reassuring, relaxing, comforting. These tiny things calm my inner turmoil, slow my mind and put me at ease. But, like me, are so completely left field that you will laugh at them! 

Repetition. Not like OCD check the door lock 3 times, repetition of entertainment sources. I will re-read the same books over and over. Again not like "Hey, it's been 2 years and I haven't read this book!" more like I just read the last page and I begin it again immediately. I liken it to visiting a comfortable place. If I like the story it becomes forever a "Comfortable Place" a friendly, happy land for my imagination, where I am happy. Doesn't matter how often I read the story it's always a happy escape and reassuring that no matter what changes in my world, that world in my imagination remains the same. Television is another source of my entertainment repetition. Shows like Shameless, Trailer Park Boys, True Blood, Breaking Bad, Deadwood, Sons Of Anarchy, I re-watch these shows obsessively! Problem is that I have to start Season 1 Episode 1 and can't stop until I'm at the end of all available episodes. When I got up this morning at 4:30, B was watching Shameless, had just started it and now I am on Season 3 Episode 2!! I'm stuck in the land of the Gallaghers for the day!!

Routine. Even I don't notice that I do it until it's pointed out to me by ME, LOL!!! Normal people have routines so your asking yourself why this would seem odd to me or even funny to you. It's not so much the routine itself that's odd as my reaction to the routine itself or more importantly my reaction to missing a step in the routine. 

I could honestly care less if the house is a bit messy or cluttered when I leave for the day, Ian's chores are  trash and dishes so no need to worry about that, B will pick up, no worries there. I can not physically leave my house without making my bed, I have a panic attack quite literally. 2 years ago this little piece of OCD was nonexistent. I have never once in my life cared whether or not the bed was made! It just started one random day, weird huh? Even on non-days when I'm home, I can't let the bed go unmade for more than an hour after I get up! Never noticed until today that on the day Mav goes back to work, I watch 1 of my shows and absolutely have to eat steak and eggs at some point. Always steak and eggs, every single time he leaves for work! I just noticed this little routine because I was cooking it and actually stopped to consider it. It kinda freaked me out that I have been doing this for months and just realized it, really freaked me out because I was writing this blog and in the back of my head it was bothering me that there was something I was missing and didn't feel at ease until I was standing there flipping fried eggs!

It's a non-day, don't judge!

Never truly understand how weird my life is until I write it down for other people to read. Going to leave you with this real life true story event that honest to God did occur and if you have something more strangely random than this event I want to hear about it!!

I was standing in a trailer park, wearing a cocktail length fox fur coat, in front of a campfire, drinking a PBR, watching paint dry!

Till Next Time Faithful Readers, 

BEX :)

We have become our parents and not in a good way!

I periodically kind of misplace my muse and end up not writing for a couple of months and Faithful Readers, I'm not going to apologize as I usually do because I'm pretty certain that you understand!! I have missed this time together and once again promise that I will try harder!!

Fast update: I was in the running for a Bi-line of my own and unfortunately did not get it, I came in second. However, I will still continue to write for them and on a steadier schedule than I have been. Because of that and they even considered me, I know that I am on their radar and I'm calling it a major win!! I'll get there when the time is right, I have faith!

So, yeah, this among a couple of other things got me down for a minute. No worries though, I'm back to normal punktacular, fabulousity!!! But it did put me in total slacker mode there for a minute, which does have it's plus sides but I am an active person so I don't generally like spending that much time inside my own head. It can be a deeply disturbing place at times, let's face it I have a tendency to over analyze EVERYTHING!! And given unlimited time inside my own head, I will successfully drive myself batty over the tiniest of things. The plus side of this introspective was that I sat and gave serious thought to a couple of things that kind of annoy me.

We have successfully turned into our parents as a generation, for the most part. I'm 38 years old, I grew up in the 80's and 90's. I had a jean jacket with a Pink Floyd back patch, the front was covered with every pin I could find for every metal/thrash band I loved, I wore Adidas Hi-tops, torn jeans, tye dye t-shirts and bleached the ever livin piss out of my jet black hair in the 90's, I had 4 Swatch watches on one arm, jelly bracelets up to my elbow on the other, huge hair, leggings and one shoulder NEON shirts in the 80's. My parent's constantly were on my ass about how I dressed, no matter what decade! But it was worse when I was in high school and going through my Metal, Punk, Skater look with that jean jacket, torn jeans, hi-tops all scuffed too hell and Manic Panic streaks in my hair! My dad would constantly tell me that even though it wasn't fair, people would look at how I presented myself dressing that way and judge me. "Dress like a slacker punk and people will assume you are a slacker punk! Bec, your too smart for that!" my dad would say every day before school.

One day I got curious and I asked my Gram about my dad when he was going to high school. Asked her straight out what she thought about how he dressed in school. My gram went on a rant for an hour, no joke. She hated his tight dungarees with the ridiculous flared legs, the madras shirts, the platform boots, Gram said it was an ongoing fight every single day about what he chose to wear.

Every generation is going to hate what the newer generation is wearing, doing, their music, everything. It's inevitable.

I personally have never gotten on my boys too much or often about how they choose to dress. C'mon, I have neon pink hair and dress in what I think looks good, so who am I to suppress their individuality and expression? Although we do have a rule in this house that if you look straight up fucktarded in that outfit your not getting out the door! B checks me before I leave and I check him and Ian, if something doesn't look right, back to the closet you go!!

Everyone has the right to their opinion, my point is this: Your parent's didn't like everything you wore growing up, remember that the next time you see some kid sportin' low hanging jeans, a t-shirt 12 times too big and sideways flat brim baseball cap. You don't like it, don't fucking wear it, simple as that. Stop being so damn judgmental about how the youth of today is dressing, the next time you see some kid on a skateboard with baggy ass jeans hangin' low, a white wife beater and a DC cap on sideways and you want to be all snotty and high and mighty about it I want you to stop and think of 2 things 1) WTF did you look like in your yearbook??? 2) You have a friend that is 38 with PINK HAIR!!!!  I have personally been out different places with allot of you, I've seen how defensive you all can get the second someone looks at me snotty about my hair, I'm sure that kid with the jeans feels the same damn way when you look at him snotty!!! And if stopping and thinking about those 2 points don't stop you from being a judgmental fucktwat, I want you to think of this instead "You sound like YOUR Dad/Mother!" don't know about you but nothing stops me in my tracks faster than sounding like my parents!!

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in Syracuse, high temps, sunny, perfect! My buddy Nicole lives nearby and has a fabulous backyard so I decided to go chill with her. Realizing what a craptastic winter we had, it came to me that I haven't worked out or jogged since October! Usually I'm pretty good at keeping a routine but working seasonally, my man coming home from working out of state, well let's just say the excuses are many, LOL!! So I jogged the 1.5 miles to Nic's place. Only had to stop and walk once!! WOOHOO BEX!! I still got it I thought to myself, so when I got home I went to our onsite gym and worked my ass out for an hour! Came home and ate a salad! Feeling all proud and puffed up about myself.......until this morning. My arms are killing me just typing this blog! Everything is sore as hell!! The funny part is that by looking at me, you'd honestly wonder why? I'm perfectly proportioned for my height, I'm not over weight but I'm not a triscuit a week supermodel skinny, I have a very athletic build! Evidently the muscle I have was still napping and woke up in a snit! Taking today off but hitting that gym again tomorrow damn it so those muscles better realize that nap time is over!!

Alright Faithful Readers, there are beers that need drinking and dinner that unfortunately will not cook itself
(weren't we promised replecators by now???)

Till Next Time,

BEX

Here's a new one,

Snotty blog because I accidently deleted my last one.

So no shit Ma, there we were.....B was sitting 3 feet from the door and while I was in the middle of writing an article for one of my clients, was screaming at ME to answer the door 3 rooms away. I bolted to answer the door, swiping my arm across the touch pad, thus erasing my favorite god damned blog!!! FUCKING GGRRRRR!!!!

So here is my first video blog Faithful Readers:

if not, then please tell me to shut the fuck up, I'm trying!!!

Your Faithful,
BEX!!

XSRE Destiny USA Mall

I promised to write this blog over a week ago and for that I apologize!! Bex is SO sorry it took so long! All of us here in CNY are familiar with Carousel Mall unfortunately renamed Destiny USA. For all of my other Faithful Readers, Carousel AKA Destiny is a massive homage to mass consumerism in all of it's tacky, gauche splendor. In other words it is a Mall. Not certain why the developers can't just be happy with the fact that it's a fucking Mall and why on God's green Earth they keep trying to make it something else but that story is for another day.

I was having a really bad go of it last week, just everything was going to crap and yes, Bex was feeling really down! I actually went out with minimal makeup and "At Home" clothes if that tells you anything about how down I felt.

My best buddy sacrificed his day and took me shopping, sitting patiently at every store waiting for me to find my smile again. He and I spend allot of time at Destiny, he likes to stare like a creeper at all the women in the Mall, I like to shop like a god damned RockStar! So in our adventures I had come across a store that I was unfamiliar with in the expansion section of Destiny and on that particular day I felt that nothing would help me find my smile faster than that Bright, Shiny, new store! And guess what, I was right!!

XSRE in Destiny has to be the best new store in that grotesque structure of a Mall! Let's start with the people: T greeted us and she was the elixir of the Gods that my poor wounded soul needed!! I ended up talking to her the whole hour that I spent in the store, asking her opinion about things that I was picking out and I almost never do that because I have a very eclectic, Bex style that most people don't get but man T had me spot on!! Kudos to you girl!! By the time I checked out she had me convinced I was a god damned supermodel! K, was super helpful at the dressing rooms and so friendly that I just wanted to hug her!! The hot girl that checked me out, I super disco apologize because I don't recall your name but you were also a superfly Rockstar! You guys asked for my Blog address when I told you that i would post about you and I hope that you haven't forgotten and get a chance to read this and pass it along to everyone that you know because you guys ROCK!!

XSRE, the clothes. They were having a massive sale when I was in my mood but I bought quite a few regular priced items and their prices are awesome. I spent less than $50, walked out with 1 complete outfit complete with fedora and scarf to match, 1 new club dress that is smokin' HOT, and a bagful of new accessories!! Bex Faithful Readers will tell you that I am, in fact, an accessory whore! Scarves, hats, rings, bangles, necklaces, hair bows, sunglasses. I love it all and firmly believe that the right accessory will pull together any outfit, even a hoody and leggings.

For all of my readers in CNY, please go shop at XSRE!! I don't want this store to fall under the Carousel Curse, I love the merch and can not say enough good things about the staff!

For the rest of my readers go find your nearest XSRE and embrace it in all of it's wonder!

I know I will be a faithful shopper at XSRE Destiny and hope to see you all there, please if you do go to XSRE anywhere in the world share with me your experience and send me pix of what you purchased, I'd love to share it here!!

BEX!

Clarifying and Informational Bullshit

Every couple of weeks, I get a mini vacation from my kids. B goes off to his Dad's and Ian goes to my Mom's. Even though they're teenagers and really don't need me it's still nice when they go away and I get the whole apartment to myself! I can wander around in my panties and Tshirt all I want, eat total crap for every meal and watch what I want to watch without 1 complaint, I can drink till I pass out on the living room floor, go out where and whenever I choose with whom ever I want. It's very empowering to have them gone until.......suddenly, I realize I'm bored. I'm bored out of my fucking skull!!! The house is clean, everything is done and there's no one asking me to make dinner or fix something, wtf am I supposed to do with all of this free time?? I haven't been drinking since October with one weekend being the exception so there's no beer in the house and even if there was I wouldn't drink it because I hate drinking alone, I don't want to go out because it's fucking cold outside and NOBODY looks good in that many layers of clothing, ever! And there's only 3 people on the planet that I can share a comfortable silence and my space with, 2 aren't talking to me and 1 is out of town. So it turns into a different version of the insomnia game, find something that will keep me occupied until I get bored enough to do something else. There's only one problem with this game, if I'm already bored it doesn't work because I don't want to do anything! I don't want to read because I don't want to sit still, already caught up on all the shows that I follow and have re-watched the older episodes 100 times, I could clean my bathroom but if I clean mine I have to clean the boys bathroom and if I do that I'll want to clean the kitchen again and then I might as well run the vacuum and dust and there is that cobweb that I've been ignoring, wonder how many others there are, might as well do that too. Nah, don't want to do all that, that's too much work. LOL, do you see what I mean? So I decided on a blog and my laundry that really didn't need to be done. Keep up with me on this one because my ADD has been outstanding today!!

I want to clarify myself. Often times I have a particular expression that I use that could be super offensive to some. I don't mean it that way! I say "Gay" allot, probably more than I say "Fuck". It's Gay, your Gay, How fucking gay is that?!? Now here's the part that cracks me up, it's not my Gay friends or even my Gay family members that get upset when I use this particular word, it's my straight laced, conservative friends that get their panties in a twist when I say it. Normally I don't give a flying squirrel's fuzzy ass if this offends, when have I ever censored myself outside of the company of children and clergy?? NEVER!! Your a grown up (I hope) don't like my words, expressions or mannerisms go the fuck on with yourself and don't come back! But it was brought to my attention that not everyone on the planet knows me half as well as they should and that I can be taken out of context by that minority of people. SIDENOTE: My ADD is so bad I just lost my lighter in 3 ft of workspace, no joke. Can not find it!!

Okay back to Gay! Bex definition of gay is NOT pertaining to anyone's sexuality EVER! I could care less who you sleep with as I am 100% certain you could care less who or what I sleep with. When I say something is Gay, I mean completely stupid. Example; "Your going to wear that out, it's Gay!!" means Purple and Orange do NOT match and I don't want to be seen with you and if we do happen across a Homosexual male he will beat you to death with his ultra cool lamb skin Prada messenger bag and I will NOT save you, in fact I will buy him lunch and trade super cool, secret bargain shopping spots with him! "You're Gay" equals dumbass, "it's Gay" equals I don't like it, no really, it's fucking stupid and I refuse to like it ever. "How fucking Gay is that" equals really, you need an explanation for that? Ok "How fucking Gay is that" equals Dumbass, I don't like it, no really, it's fucking stupid and I refuse to like it ever!

There are some things I consider super Gay in my Universe. You have to let my shower run for 5 minutes before you jump in or else it's freezing cold if someone hasn't already showered that day. If someone's already been in, no warm up necessary. Turned on the shower today, let it warm up, jumped in and 2 minutes later nothing but cold water! GAY! Laundry room heat is turned off because the apartment people are cheap asses so you freeze to death handling your wet clothes, GAY! The fact that I can not comfortably sit home, knowing that I am not going out anywhere at all, doing laundry in a pair of cargo pants and a T-shirt and STILL have to wear makeup, GAY!

Which brings up a funny story. One of B's little followers knows that I don't like her. It's nothing personal, just don't like most teenage girls, actually to be honest I don't like any human being at all not even my own between the ages of 12 and 22 years. That is the most useless group of people on the planet. Anyways, she was kissing my ass. She came in and said something along the lines of how pretty I was that day and how she had never seen me wear makeup before. SIDENOTE: My lighter was in my pack of smokes the whole time, GAY!

Back to makeup. I don't ever go with out makeup. EVER! My idea of going without makeup is putting on concealer, mascara and lip gloss. If and that's a big if, I am forced to leave the house before my shower I will wear a baseball cap and my biggest pair of sunglasses so that no one sees me without my makeup on, seriously ask Nicole she's seen me do this today. I look like a CIA Witness protection applicant! This little girl swears she's never seen me in makeup. If your going to kiss my ass, please make it believable! The only time makeup comes off of this face is late at night before bed when I am certain it's too late for anyone to pop over.

And here's the Informational Bullshit! I've tried some new things recently and I feel the need to share and keep you from making the same mistakes that I did. Guys, you might want to skip to the end. Girls pay attention! As most know, I am addicted to anything concerning Beauty and Fashion. One of the latest fix all fads has been this light face cream with a touch of concealer called BB Cream. It's full of vitamins and nutrients and is supposed to even your skin tone and do all manner of fabulous for your face! CAUTION: Do not use this if like me you use a moisturizer in the morning!! Not unless you want to look like your going through Puberty round 2. It's too greasy! Tried 2 different brands, Olay and Garnier both were too oily. Tried cutting out my moisturizer and all it did was make my skin dry, oily AND broken out. Garnier Anti wrinkle eye roller, supposed to get rid of those fine lines under your eyes. 3 weeks, no difference. Olay ProX facial 2 speed cleansing brush, great but only use every few days otherwise it takes off all the dead skin and then the new skin and your skin has no time to heal and it kicks into overdrive! Hyalrounic acid, not noticing a big difference to be honest but I'm in the early stages of testing so I'll get back to you on that. Neosporin eczema essentials is a must have!! Works miracles if like my son you have eczema, seriously in 2 days it was all gone!! Awesome product, 4 Bex Stars! Pink lied to me, Cover Girl Clump Crushing Mascara does in fact clump badly. Oh and one last thing, Green Days 3 new albums all suck! Do not download that shit, want crappy over produced radio pop download Ke$ha, her album is better if that tells you anything.

See, wearing makeup even on lazy days :) Keeping my world beautiful one lip glossed moment at a time!

Well Faithful Readers, we've wasted some time together and for that I thank you. However, don't be surprised if some weird thought comes into my head later and I post another blog LOL, and that's why we say....Till Next Time, Faithful Reader,

BEX The Bored!

Insomnia has got me pretty loopy this morning!

I haven't slept yet in the past 24 hours and for those of you that know me and/or read my blog, you know that this is a regular occurrence in Bex World. There are actually days that go by without me getting sleep which leads to me trying to find new and interesting ways to waste time. This blog page was actually born from my complete inability to sleep. See, here's how it is; insomnia is lonely as hell!! Your wide awake at 4 AM and guess what, unless your IM pal is in Kyrgyzstan  your screwed for chit chat! Internet is a wonderful thing with vast amounts of knowledge available in an instant however, even someone with my curiosity and ability to retain an incredible amount of information eventually will either get bored or draw a complete blank on what to investigate next. I once spent an entire 12 hours researching the name Ptolemy throughout history because I caught 10 seconds of some gibberish on the Science Channel about Ptolemy's Theorem and had until then only associated the name with ancient Egypt. 12 hours of my life, I lost 12 hours of my life to that blurb of curiosity that will never, ever, ever, EVER be useful at any point in any conversation that I could possibly have!

Watching television almost never works for me. No matter how many times I've watched a movie or how disinterested I could be in a show about ice fishing, there's ALWAYS something that will catch and hold my attention without fail! I will watch 18 hours of that survival show because God in Heaven knows I may fall into the icy wilds of Estonia and need to know how to survive with a hubcap, dental floss and a broken 8 track player!!!! Fuck you, Macguyver I watched that marathon of Dual Survival and the barefooted hippy bastard will save my life someday!!

Side note here: I want to see a more realistic survival show!! I do NOT need to know how to survive face eating sloths in Madagascar! I need to know important stuff like how to survive that creepy guy at the bar that looks like he's 2 seconds away from asking me if this rag smells like chloroform, I need to know how to survive in Central NY in winter when every pair of shoes that I own has open toes, I need to know how to survive ObamaCare!! C'mon smartass, barefoot hippy guy, you and GI Joe need to wonder twin powers activate and find me some REAL survival knowledge when I can't sleep for 2 damn days!!

And speaking of useless shit on television at 5 AM, how is it some jackass created an infomercial for DVD's called "Piano For Quitters" and I failed miserably at marketing this blog?? That defies all odds! I'm finding the piano guy and punching him in the balls.

Reading is no better than television. Went to the library yesterday(yesterday? Today? Wtf day is it?!?) to get some new reads and discovered that I physically need someone there to take my book away from me or I will stay up and read the whole damn book. It wouldn't be so bad except that it's book 3 in a 4 book series and I have to wait for book 4 to come into the library so now I'm stuck in a fiction limbo and my mind is racing down every possible scenario for book 4 and I CAN'T SLEEP!!!

Something interesting about my sleep patterns came to my attention, ironically on the day that I stopped sleeping(Irony, you bastard!). *Warning* advanced personal Bex knowledge comes next! I do not sleep well next to another human being unless I am completely and I mean COMPLETELY passed out drunk. And I mean to the point where you could hit me in the face with a pillow case full of rocks and I wouldn't flinch in my sleep. I do NOT like sharing my space, not even when I'm asleep evidently. I will kick the person next to me mercilessly, I will toss and turn, punch, start yelling in my sleep. But here's my natural defense against someone sleeping next to me that no one has ever escaped, I grind my teeth in my sleep. Not normal teeth grinding, I mean wake that person out of a dead ass sleep teeth grinding. If you go back into the vast Chaos And Candy archives from a year ago there was a wonderful blog about a fabulous dentist that fixed my tooth after an unfortunate teeth grinding incident!

That's not any new information to me, I already knew all of that. What I did not know is that there has been one guy that has managed to escape all of that behavior. Not one time have I done any of it while coexisting the same sleeping surface. Which becomes really god damned funny considering that he drives me bat shit crazy when I'm awake and it's been the second most tumultuous relationship that I've ever witnessed let alone been a half of. So I guess the moral of the story is to stay asleep and it'll all work out! I've been awake now for 30 hours so just about any kind of circular thinking justification makes complete sense to me at this point. I will read this later and question why someone didn't shut me up but considering I'm the only one here, I guess sleep deprived babble is acceptable this one time lol.

Okay, seriously Readers, my A.D.D. is sabotaging me pretty hard now and I can not concentrate on you, the news, having coffee and breathing all at the same time!

Till Next TZZZZZZZZZZZZ.......

BEX THE GREAT AND SLEEPY 

New blog post for the New Year!

As always, I spent New Years Eve at home with my boys. We always stay up all night on a movie marathon and lounging. I don't celebrate NYE for a couple of reasons, one is that when I do attempt to celebrate it something goes horribly wrong! For example one year I had a stalker crash his car through the security gate at our apartment, he got to our building when the cops stopped him with a loaded gun coming to kill us. That's just one example of some of the uber crazy that finds me every December 31st. And to be perfectly honest, there are way too many people out making bad decisions, being reckless and causing general havoc on New Years Eve and let's face it Readers if there's one thing I hate, it's competition. LOL!! This year being no different, just as I decided to brave the celebration I got word of a death in the family. Ok, now that's a big ass sign to stay in.

Life has been unusually quiet recently and I have my fingers crossed that the trend continues in the new year. After all, it's 2013 and good things always happen to me when the number 13 is involved. I'm not one for resolutions, I like who I am and don't feel the need to make myself promises.

Faithful Readers, I hope that if you choose to make resolutions that you succeed and I look forward to another year with you!

Till Next Time,

BEX :)