Did you know

The news has bored me to tears and there are still 3 days left till the Royal Wedding so here you go, something interesting to read.

Did you know:

That I'm terrified of grass? Yep, hate grass. If grass touches my bare feet I will cry and scream till someone comes and picks me up.

I will not wear yellow because during one of my psychology classes we covered a study done that showed paranoid schizophrenics are partial to the color yellow.

I am deathly allergic to jellyfish

I have on OCD tic that prevents me from drinking out of a water glass unless it's been rinsed 3 times.

I remember everything that I read

I really do wish that I could win the lottery so that I could take care of the guys in my life that seem to have my shitty ass luck

I don't like wearing earrings and never have. My ears are too sensitive.

I hate beans, any kind of beans. If there are beans in it I will not eat it.

Sometimes the battle between being an optimist and hopeless romantic that believes in true love and my realist cynical analytical side becomes even more than I can handle and I become emotionally exhausted to the extreme

I am convinced that writing is the only thing that keeps me clinging on to sanity's thread

Most people wish they could go back and do it all over again, I do not. I wouldn't change anything that I've experienced so far, I wouldn't change those memories or lessons for anything in the world.

I love the smell of camp fires, it makes me very peaceful.

You know that I love pink but did you know my other favorite color is blue?

I like coloring, it calms me down and helps me focus. Seriously get a color book and crayons and spend an hour a day coloring you'll be surprised at how therapeutic it is.

I love children's reactions to my pink hair! It always makes me giggle!

I tend to shift my personality to accommodate the people around me so that they are more comfortable

I hate black jeans and black sneakers, I think it's a tacky look.

I like peeps, but only if they've sat out and gotten crunchy.

Okay enough about me now go an find out stuff about you!

Till next time faithful readers,
BEX

Funny news and Jerry Seinfeld's Sheen act.

I feel like shit today so I'm in my jammies finding fun stuff to write about, when I came across probably one of the best news articles ever!! CNN is honestly my best asset in making fun of World politics. Now I am NOT at all a supporter of our (United States) involvement in Libya. I think the reasoning behind our involvement is convoluted at best. If Moammar Gadhafi was such a huge threat to us we should've done something back in the 1980's when he was being a self righteous terrorist supporting lunatic not now when he was actually minding his own business. There was a small uprising in his country and he was putting it down using military force, his army was not just indiscriminately shooting civilians for sport as the Democrats would have you believe. The rebels were considered traitors and attacked the Libyan Army first!!! Would our President not retalliate using force if a rebel army pulled up on the White House lawn, firing RPG's and AK-47's at it?? Obama would not step foot on the lawn in that situation to make conversation with rebels, his Secret Service people would shoot first and make up answers later. This whole situation was never any of our business!!

Anyways, back to the funny part of this. On CNN there was an article about NATO bombing Gadhafi's compound. Here's exactly what was printed on CNN: " Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is alive despite what a Libyan government official called a NATO attempt to kill him by bombing his compound, a government spokesman asserted in a defiant statement Monday.
"The message that was sent by NATO in the early hours of this morning was sent to the wrong address," Mussa Ibrahim said in a written statement."

"Nato's message sent to wrong address" hahahahahahahahahaha, Good God that is the funniest line I've read in awhile!!!

NATO attacks and the libyan spokes guy Ibrahim comes back with scathing sarcastic snarky comment!! Love it!! Good for you man!!

The Westboro Baptist Church tried their hand at disrupting another Military funeral again. Only this time funny hijinks ensued and prevented them from protesting. I had to laugh when I read the article forwarded to me because the way that the story read it was like reading a keystone caper!! Here's the link : http://www.retirelikeme.com/2011/04/21/mississippi-town-destroys-westboro-baptist-plans/

Read that article and next time tip your beer in salute to these fine residents of Brandon Mississippi!!!

NATO. Wow they are a wealth of fun for me today. In Afghanistan prisoners escaped through a tunnel 1/4 mile long built from the outside of the Prison. Taliban reports 540 prisoners escaped and NATO says only 470 prisoners escaped and oh by the way NATO has recaptured 8.

Okay, I've watched prison break shows and movies and where as I realize these are cinematic dramatizations and of course westernized, uuummmm there are always guards. Prisons have guards right??? Aren't the guards suppose to look in the cells and see the prisoners?? Isn't that what happens in Prison?? The guards keep an eye on the prisoners, right?? Where the fuck were the guards that were supposed to keep an eye on the prisoners and how did they not notice 540-470 out of 1,200 prisoners missing and not in their cells?? And how in the hell was there a secret tunnel that almost half the population ran out of? Damn I hope they make a movie out of that!!

And in an absolutely fantastic twist, Jerry Seinfeld has lost his freaking mind! I don't care for Seinfeld, never have. I don't appreciate his humor at all, he states the obvious with no ironic or funny twist. However I find him hilarious when he's digging himself into a gynormous hole with his insults of both our next president and the British Monarchy. Way to go Jerry, your well on your way to becoming banned from the 2 biggest Democracies on the planet!! He was being interviewed by the BBC's Daybreak when he called Prince William's upcoming marriage a circus act, and the Royal Family fake and unimportant. Now I realize the British Monarchy and all their doings aren't everyone's cup of tea (pun intended) however to blast someone's marriage is pretty rude Jerry. Right after condemning himself in Britain he went on to cancel an appearance at Trumps son Eric's fundraising event benefitting St. Judes Children's Hospital. Jerry Seinfeld wasn't comfortable fulfilling his commitment to the appearance because he doesn't agree with Donald Trump's recent criticisms of President Obama. Mr. Seinfeld made a donation to St. Judes but cancelled on the event. First it was to Eric Trump that he made the commitment not Donald so I take issue with this. Second if you take issue with Donald's comments then decline to speak politics with him politely. Third of all you are a celebrity Mr. Seinfeld and your popularity would have raised an unknown amount to a Children's Hospital, in this day of celebrity disasters wouldn't it be nice to see a celebrity use his fame to benefit children rather than a drug dealer?? No matter what your political belief's as a celebrity you should use your power for good no matter what. At least Charlie Sheen's meltdown is amusing, Jerry Seinfelds is just sad and dumb!

Till Next Time Faithful Readers,
BEX

Easter and Snarky News Comments (feeling froggy today)

So after being woken up at 0630 am by the boy asking permission to hunt for Bunny goodies, I was pissed at 0830 am to find him passed out on his bed surrounded by candy and eggs. Wtf?? I had to get up and motivate him to actually LOOK for the damn goodies and now he's passed out?? Oh well. Anticlimactic at best, I guess Easter is no Christmas.

I'm not big into organized religion so Easter for me is all about the Bunny. I really wish that I were a kid again because where as Ian was ready to give up looking because it was "too hard" I would've torn the house down to find eggs and candy, lol! Being a grown up sucks on holidays because you have to be responsible for the gifts and goodies and then the big holiday dinner and entertaining company. Nah I'm not into that, Thanksgiving and Christmas okay but not the other holidays. I get royally screwed from September thru January so I try to relax the other 8 months. My Mom use to get maniacal about ANY Holiday. It was as if she felt guilty about her behavior for all the other days and was trying to make up for it. In her psychotic pursuit of the perfect holiday she kind of traumatized me on holidays forever. I don't enjoy them, I get no satisfaction from the preperations, it always seems to interrupt something I'd rather be doing.

And in the News:

John McCain is suffering from senility, bummer I liked him.

Obama is going on a Sheen like tour around the country and world saying incredibly stupid things however there are no cool t-shirts or Goddesses present so no one is much interested.

The Chinese are going on their own Easter Egg Hunt, only it involves live Christians and automatic weapons. Not very sporting if you ask me, but it will be interesting to see how many are Resurrected. Too soon??

The Easter Bunny supposedly immigrated from Germany. And in a live interview with Brian Williams admits to being Jewish and longs to be reunited with his family in Israel.

Protesters here in Syracuse go on live television stating they are against the use of unmanned predator drones because it makes war easy and kills civilians. As opposed to the fluffy bunny bombs we've been dropping. Because it makes war insanely difficult to be a pilot hitting a button in a cockpit deploying ordinance filled with Gummi Bears. Sheesh, glad the protesters cleared that up for me!!

HAPPY EASTER FAITHFUL READERS!!!
BEX

Drug Karma and Religious Rhetoric

Gonna play nice Faithful Readers, I won't put names on this one. But you know who you are. Yes you, you hiding behind your own ignorant self denials and pretending that none of this pertains to you, I'm calling you out. Now Faithful Readers you have to be getting just as sick of me saying this as I am of writing it. Drug addicts are fucking morons. Honestly they are the most selfish stupid human beings on the planet and I have no respect or tolerance for them.

I don't care if you believe in Karma or not, no one can deny that sometimes when you do something particularly bad in life it eventually will come back to you three fold worse than what you put into the Universe.

So how can someone that consistently hurt the people that loved him, consistently lied, stole, used and abused every friend and family member over decades, how can that person wonder honestly why things backfire? Can you honestly sit there and wonder why you get chaos and destruction raining down on you? No offense but you'd better be thankful that Karma works in small doses or you'd be stepping in front of an 18 wheeler only to survive barely and get sent to surgery with a doctor named Mengele. You honestly did this to yourself, you deserve every bit of shit that comes your way and then some. Yes I believe everyone deserves a second chance but these people have and 3,4,5,6 chances.

I would love to see all the people that have entered my life and been addicted to drugs completely clean and I would give anything to see them get their lives together and back on track. I would love to see these addicts succeed in truly living life and have a happy ending. But I'm not stupid enough to hold my breath in anticipation of this fairy tale.

Now I also realize I'm treading a very thin line here bordering on hypocrisy. When I'm just having drinks I'm fine but add just a dash of tension, stress, frustration or anger to those drinks and I will binge drink till I am numb and then lash out at the people closest to me because it's completely impossible for me to communicate effectively. And yes I've done my fair share of damage to people and no amount of my remorse can take back the pain I've caused. However I do attempt to not continue this vicious cycle, not always successfully but I also believe that in an environment where communication is open and flowing I flourish and don't have so many control issues. So it's kind of a two way street to keep me balanced and not so self destructive.

Steve Quayle. Now I admit I only listened to a few minutes of this guy last night so I'm kinda talking out of my ass. But what I heard was enough to throw me into a complete tizzy. He "supposedly" found many remains of a giant race of humans. Okay I can buy that. What had me simultaneously laughing till I wanted to wet the bed and ready to hunt him down and beat him with Darwins Origins Of Species, was the tangent he went on about how this race of giants was of course written about in the bible multiple times and that they were obviously supernatural and therefor must be the children of fallen angels AND HERE'S THE PUNCHLINE: The entire Scientific Community is covering up this race of giants and deterring him from speaking out about it because it's a supernatural secret(ssshhhhhh, the CIA might hear you on NATIONAL RADIO ASSHOLE)!!!! There have been multiple findings of giant human skeletal remains yes, not enough to completely reorganize the evolutionary scale to fit a new species because there are not enough of them even in the regions where the remains have been found. C'mon people, common sense please?? Also and here's the part where I wish I was a super hero and my side kick was the ghost of Charles Darwin and we would fly around side by side slapping the stupid out of people and beating them with the mighty "Theory Of Evolution, Only The Strongest Species Survives" stick.

I'm not saying that it's bad to be religious. If it fits in your life and makes you a better person by all means have religion. What I am saying is this, The Vatican has come out and publicly stated that the Bible is more of a guide book for life not a literal translation and not a historically correct text. THE VATICAN SAID THIS!!! The bible is more a collection of stories much like Aesop's Fables to teach moral lessons. Live your life by the lessons taught in it but don't sit there and tell me that there was once a race of fallen angel super giant magical beings because YOU translated Genisis and Deuteronomy to suit your needs. If you were to read the whole thing instead of picking out the pieces you like it would become apparent to you that it was talking about Mankind's ability to corrupt itself from within by allowing itself to be swayed by evil. But no Mr. Quayle had to go and take it literally.

Really?? Seriously?? How are you going to deny Evolution while Literally translating the Bible and then be upset because Scientists won't take you seriously??

I don't take you seriously and I believe almost 6 impossible things before breakfast.

Throwing Religious Rhetoric at me and then attempting to disguise it as Science while damning Evolution, dude I want what ever pill your on because that is some good shit and I want to be that high!!!!


Till Next Time Faithful Readers,

BEX AND DARWIN UP UP AND AWAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Going Local because World news is boring

I really don't have anything to offer you today, Faithful Readers however I feel compelled to write since I haven't posted in awhile. Life has been rather boring in Bex Universe. Just a couple of minor emotional breakdowns and some tiny insecure moments. Ya know, the usual. Have been keeping up on current events but honestly have no witty, clever takes on the news for you because it's all the same bullshit. Obama is running my Country into the ground and setting us up for the inevitable apocalypse. The economy here is trash, the middle east should still be paved over into a parking lot for Europe with the exception of Israel. The Royal wedding is 8 days away and Charlie Sheen is a lunatic. Same boring ass news as last week and the week before and so I find myself with a lack of inspiration or Muse. The only thing I have to offer is something that kinda pissed me off in our local news. An Oswego couple got their kids taken away from them due to poor living conditions. According to reports, the apartment was dirty and disgusting. Here's the part that pisses me off, The man's Mother called and spoke with our local investigative reporter and was quoted as saying that her son "is not a horrible person" and that the couple were "Victims of circumstance and very poor (financially) people".

What the hell kind of excuse is that not to take out the trash and clean the counter tops?? We are broke so we are going to live like pigs?? I take issue with this mentality. I'm broke, live on a fixed income and am taking care of 3 people. My house is freaking spotless!! The most mess you will find at any given moment is my magazines on the coffee table and my little brown cabinet is always threatening to throw my papers and computer crap on the floor. Every other day the house is dusted and vacuumed, dishes are done twice a day, laundry once a week, you get the general idea. So how does poor translate into slob?? Growing up, my family was middle class and yet my Mom was still a slob, we weren't poor.

I want to find this lady and smack her in the head until she takes responsibility for being a shitty parent and never teaching her son any kind of adult behavior. This guy had 5 kids with this girl and neither of them is taking care of any of the children let alone maintaining the household. WTF??

Here's my thought on this whole situation and subsequent solution. I honestly believe we as a country should have breeding laws much like China. And I'm being very serious about this. It would drastically cut down on Medicaid, Welfare and build things such as our Workforce and Education levels. Make it mandatory to have a permit for breeding. You would have to prove beyond doubt that you can financially and emotionally handle the stresses of child rearing. No more poverty level families of 6 living off of the working people. You would have to have at least a High School Equivalency and a Full time income for both individuals or off to the clinic you go. And for all you religious assholes out there against Abortion, when the fuck has your Jesus come down to provide an income for these leeches?? NEVER! Welfare isn't paid for by your God it's paid for by the workers and by the State you live in which is generally borrowing money and subsequently adding to our National Debt.

I say every woman should be put on some type of birth control unless she is volunteering as a surrogate for an infertile couple. And your not allowed off the birth control until you can prove your able to care for another little human being.

That would even cut down on infanticide, domestic abuse, child abuse and depression. No more parents freaking out and drowning their kids in a river and or lake, no more parents freaking out and beating each other because of misplaced rage and frustration.

Problem solved, Think Before You Breed Faithful Readers!!!

Till next time,
BEX

My Birthday observations...

36 today. Last year I had a breakdown on my Birthday. Everything was going terribly wrong in my life and turning 35 was a slap to the face for someone that still believes she's that cute 21 year old. In the 365 since then I've gotten past this. No breakdown this year.

I'm happy at 36, never thought I'd see 36 so it's kind of a surprise lol. I've never felt more comfortable in my skin and I'm truly happy being Bex. However, it's not what I expected and I know that sounds like a bad cliche. There are people that I was so certain would be in my life forever because we were so close that drifted off and there are people that spent a second in my life that are now sharing the adventure with me. Through all my brothers have stayed tight and close to me, my guys from the Valley and my Army brothers. Your support through this wild ride that is Bex Universe has been incredible and I never would have made it this far with out you. I literally owe all that I am to you guys, never would have been able to find Bex from Tyler from Becky.

So even though my path has taken a weird veer to left field from where it originally was going, I'm having adventures every day some good some weird some less than good or weird but adventures none the less and this makes me happy.

Tonight is going to be great times and the next 365 I will make mine for better or worse I'll own them in true Bex fashion.

Thanks to all for the birthday wishes!!!
Till next time Faithful Readers,
BIRTHDAY BEX !

I'm gonna go all "Sheen" at some point soon

There are certain things in the Bex Universe that seep in and proceed to make me crazy. Things that just come in and devastate me on an emotional level. I do not handle stress at ALL. Not even remotely. I tend to implode when ever I get more than 1 stressor at a time and if I get multiple hits at once, forget it I'm gonna lose it.

As most know Bella The Blazer blew her motor. I've been talking with the garage all along and suddenly this morning at 8 am I get a phone call from them saying they need half the money now. *SIGH* of course they do, it's a long month and my money doesn't come till the 27th.

Still waiting to hear back from my lawyer on the case of wether or not I still owe a months rent here at the apartment. I did the math from the payment history against my receipts and by my calculations I've over paid $380 in the past year. But I've been known to be wrong and Murphy is paying very close attention to me lately, so we will see but honestly can't deal with that today.

My egg donor called bright and early to inform me that my son, Ian is suffering from dry skin. He spent the weekend with her and she noticed that his hands and feet are very dry. So the entire purpose behind her call was to make sure that I understand that I have to watch him get out of the shower and immediately put on lotion. Uuuummmm, no, He's 11. Ian meanwhile this morning decided to pull the "it's raining and grandma never made me go to school in the rain" game with me, then started the fake coughing through the apartment routine. Little does he realize I already played the anti-brainwashing game with B when he would go to his grandparents for the weekend, so I am immune to these silly little ploys.

And my whole plan was to spend a nice weekend all alone with my boyfriend, with whom I have had 0 alone time. Huge backfire on that one. I was led down the wrong path by my own self destructive inability to communicate effectively, oh and Budweiser too. There are times when being me is quite painful, most times it's good but the painful points are quite painful. See, living in Bex Universe is committing to living in an environment ruled by emotion. Pure, unadulterated emotion. Don't think, just feel. However sometimes my need to understand every little aspect of my life tries to take control of the emotional and in that one moment, Bex Universe explodes into Chaos (bad kind, not candy coated). I have to know what my boundaries are at all times and if there's a conflict that turns my black and white world into gray, it will spiral me down a bad path of constant over analyzing of every minute detail until I drive myself crazy. I can't just blindly accept a situation, it has to be drawn out in detail for me to be comfortable in it. In a 36 year life span, peppered with so many uncertainties and uncontrollable chaotic situations, I have to maintain a constant control of the Universe that I have created for myself. Maybe that's one of the biggest problems, that I have to maintain an iron grip of control on my world. It doesn't allow for allot of breathing room but I'm at a loss as to how to loosen that grip. For the first time in a very long time I have my mundane life in order and I'm terrified of losing that again. But at the same time, I have zero control on my own emotional world. As Dave just put it so succinctly, my iron grip on this situation is an iron grip on sand. I have a very distinct pattern of blowing up a situation if it's not on my terms, it hurts I get over it and go find a situation that I can control but that never makes me happy either. I need to figure out a way to just accept and live with not being in control, a way that will not trigger every single one of my ingrained defenses and make me implode. But by doing that I will open up my world to a certain amount of chaos that is not manufactured and maintained by me. It's all too complicated and uncertain and those are two things I hate. It's all just a huge recipe for disaster, however I love a good lost cause lol.

Ok enough crawling around in my head, it's dark and dusty in there.

Till next time Faithful Readers,

BEX

Destruction of our "Social Network" Part 2

Not only have we hindered our social skills badly with Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, we hinder our personal relationships with gadgets. Laptops, smart phones, 52 inch high definition tv's, Playstations, Xbox, iPods. All these do is distract us from having an actual communication line with the people in the same room as us. How sad is it to receive a text or IM from someone in the same house as you? It's just an excuse to keep from actually taking the time to sit down an open a line of communication. We use the Best Buy therapy to excuse us from the responsibility of working on a relationship until it finally ends. Your relationship didn't grow apart, it never was. I'm saddened to see that most people I know have a better relationship with their plasma wide screen then they do with their significant other!

I got kicked out of a Best Buy in Florida for telling the older couple looking at huge televisions to take that money and go on a trip just the 2 of them and see how it improved their marriage rather than purchase a $2000 TV to ignore each other with. Sales guy had me removed but as I was being hauled out, the wife actually grabbed the husband and left the store. I like to believe that they did go on a nice trip.

And I'm not throwing stones here Faithful Readers. I'm just as guilty as the rest of our generation. I sit here at my table with my back to the room staring at it in a wall of mirror, watching my life happen behind me. He's on his laptop and I'm on mine, my smart phone right next to me and iPod playing in my headphones. Unfortunately all of the things that I'd like to say, I don't. I lack communication skills, believe it or not. I'm actually pretty terrible at voicing my feelings except here. It's easier here because it isn't real, I can tell you because you aren't real to me your my great imaginary friend!

It's too easy to just let things go when there are so many distractions around to keep you from seeing the failure happening right in front of you. Don't fool yourself in to believing your sharing a comfortable silence, your sharing space and nothing more. Except maybe the regret in failing the love between you.

Put down the gadgets Faithful Readers, go hug your love and go out for a walk together. I like to think you will.
Till next time Faithful Readers,

BEX

Destruction of our "Social Network"

I've sat back and thought about this for a few days. Mostly because it wasn't a complete thought yet. I'm going to back off the Political for a moment and go with a "Bex Theory" this time around.

I was talking with my son the other day and he began to tell me about a show he had watched. On the show they were talking about advances in technology that would enable a chip to be placed in the eye so that you could watch video without a player. I was immediately reminded of one of my favorite stories, Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. It always disturbed me because people essentially stop having social interaction with each other, instead they insert these "seashells" into their ears and listen in on everything and interact without the bother of actually interacting with each other.

I told my son that I was sorry for his generation because they truly are a generation lost. No original thinking, every idea for these kids comes from Wikipedia and Status Shuffle. Their lives are lived one keystroke at a time, they create farms, cities, adventures all on a web page rather than in the real world. It's easier for them to hold a conversation on chat or texting than it is to speak in an interview. We have hobbled our children intellectually.

Think about it. I believe that our generation is partly to blame for this social stunting. Now I'm not saying it's true for all of us but it is because a majority of our generation has itself been disenfranchised by our ideas of how relationships were supposed to work. We grew up in, honestly the first generation of divorces and single parents. Our generation saw the destruction of the nuclear family. We witnessed the animosity of our care givers and the disappointment of our grandparents, older family members that didn't agree with this throw away approach to marriage. If we were truly unlucky, we got to see our parents stay together for the kids. We witnessed real hatred on a daily basis and this was what stuck with us in our formative years as young adults. Now again I'm not saying that this theory is the truth for all but it is for the majority. Some of us have fallen in love and made a commitment to make it work. But how many of us have failed at marriages and/or long term commitment? How many of us have "stayed together" for the kids??

Subconsciously, we have become what was impressed on our minds. And this the platform that Social Networking is built upon. A platform of emotional immaturity and insecurity. As teenagers we use to spend hours on the phone, pacing only as far as the cord would let us or we walked over to our friends house and from there walked to another friends house. We called around till we found who we were looking for and by word of mouth a party had begun. That was our Social Network. But technology will advance and take over our worlds in the name of improvement to our lifestyles. Now we don't see each other, we don't call, we don't show up to invites sent on a website because there is no guilt of seeing that person tomorrow at school/work to hinder us. We text, chat, IM. We don't socialize anymore, we type. My boyfriend in high school use to send me letters every week, do you remember the last time you received a letter because I don't. We stopped interacting with each other socially, we took away the person to person and replaced it with a fake cyber life so as to not constitute the reality of actual emotion for fear of failing at an actual relationship of some kind such as friendships or lovers. Honestly and be honest, how many "friends" do you actually know on your friends lists, how many have you met or had a meaningful conversation with person to person? I'm betting less than half.

We are a generation of hit and run personal relationships. We don't have lasting friendships, we have people we type to.

I'm no better and chances are that even though this is my theory, I will not pick up my cell phone any more than I do now, I won't answer you back except for in a text and I will not see an improvement in any of my pseudo-personal relationships. I will however, remain as disconnected as you who are reading this instead of having conversations with the people in the same room as you.

Till next time Faithful Readers,
BEX