New World Order, sign me up!!!

Now we all know that I do NOT like conspiracy theories or theorists, however, please hear out my thoughts and read on.

*Side note, since the stupidity of people with personal agendas has died down in my life I will be enabling the ability to comment on my Blog again.*

Because I've had many dealings with actual conspiracist's and my rather insatiable curiosity towards all things unknown to me, I've done some research and for the most part tried to keep an open mind to everyone's theories. Now I know for a fact that those of you on the other side of my argument are going to toss out my ideas as ignorant or naive. But as I have attempted to see their side I ask they do the same.

There are many different organizations that get blamed on a regular basis for beginning the execution of a New World Order. The Freemason's, The Illuminati, The Odd Fellows, The Vatican, The Group of Bohemian Grove, Politicians, World Leaders (G20 Summit for example) Military. The list of is endless of groups that are supposedly taking over the world. As well as the group of people trying to "out" these diabolical evil geniuses.

My theory goes something like this, be prepared to be indignant.

I believe we should try out a New World Order. Because obviously this World Order IS NOT WORKING!!!

We have rampant poverty, WMD's in all the wrong hands, terrorism, Countries economies failing that will bring down the entire World's economy, War after useless war. Anywhere that you look in this World, there is nothing good to see. Our destruction is balancing on the edge of a razor blade and it's going to happen sooner than later people.

There are pluses to having a New One World Order. No more fighting useless wars over petty resources, religions, slights misconstrued. I'm not talking about NWO like 1984, Gattica or any of those other fear mongering movies. Just think of it more in a Roddenberry type of way.

One Order, one population that's not hungry or poor anymore. No more fear of a Nuclear weapon being unleashed because that particular Country is pissed off about Sanctions, Countries destroyed by war their people displaced with no respite.

One economy, one world to share resources and combine forces scientifically to find better ways! Imagine if these incredible scientific minds were allowed to all work together for the better of mankind, what could they accomplish for the world's population???

Now your going to tell me that a Roddenberry Utopian society is impossible given our destructive nature. But I believe we could learn another way and in doing so embrace a new way of life. Your going to tell me that putting ourselves under a One World Government will destroy all of our rights and our religions. But we have our rights taken away from us every single day! A woman's right to an abortion, SOPA, We're already tracked by our Social Security numbers, Licenses, Web searches, Credit Reports, banking accounts. That putting us under a One World Order will make the Rich Richer and the Poor Poorer. But if my way of looking at this is naive then your way of looking at it is cynical in the worst way.

Your telling me that the attempt of one world, one population, one society, free of war, famine, poverty is a bad thing to try. While right now, my friends are dying in wars in Countries that have no strategic worth, gas prices are astronomical for no reason, I can't afford to feed my family, and if i get raped or have an accidental unwanted pregnancy after the next election, well I'm fucked many different ways. My curiosity always leads me to research, Sopa passes and I'd better watch what I research. Etc, Etc, Etc.

The World needs a change in all ways. We need to change in all ways.

Till Next Time Faithful Readers,

BEX

We, as a world society, need to try something different.

Little of this, little of that......

Been doing some research today to write a rather satirical blog about current U.S. Politics. However I am in a strange frame of mind, so this is going to be a mish mash of some humorous things I found through out my quest for intelligent, thought changing information. Kind of political, sort of scathing, slightly giggle worthy, maybe a bit personal who knows, it will be what it ends up being.

I found 2 funny stories concerning one state in particular. First, let me say that generally I have an excellent spelling capability. Sometimes I come across a word that confounds me but once I see the correct spelling, it will remain in my head forever. There are like 2 words in the English language that continue to be problematic for me but hey that's why we have Dictionary.com! Having said that I read these articles and the spelling of the State's name threw me to the point that I triple checked it to make sure it was correct. Who the hell knew there is a silent "C" in Connecticut? I've been misspelling that damn word for over 20 years and not one damn person has pointed this out to me!

On to the funny happening in Connecticut (Ha, got it that time!) Police were accused and arrested in East Haven Connecticut for mistreating, harassing and profiling Latino's. Ok, this is going to sound wrong but when did Connecticut get Latino's??? Hooray for diversifying Connecticut!!! The WASP community there was boring the hell out of me!! Think we could get something going for New Hampshire and Vermont next?? I don't think the cops were trying to be racist, I think they were just fucking baffled!

In Meriden Connecticut some idiot 19 year old sent a text to the wrong number (not noticing it was the wrong number) offering to sell 200 Percoset's (pain killers). That wrong number? Yep you guessed it, a cop. What are the odds? Try and tell me "Murphy" didn't have a hand in that, it's almost statistically impossible!!! The lovely 19 yr old was busted, interesting side note: She was gonna try to burn him on the deal and only had 100 pills on her. These amateurs have to be a humiliation on real drug dealers every where!

Those crazy Baptist's are on the loose again!! Westboro Baptist Church is planning to protest Joe Paterno's funeral. These people never learn!! They've had their protests interfered with on levels from local law enforcement to Hell's Angel's and yet they are like a dog that continues to come back even though it gets kicked every single damn time. Yes there has been the recent controversy surrounding him due to the Jerry Sandusky scandal. Hey let's remember that Coach Paterno was the head coach for Penn State for 46 years!!! 46 years in College football at the same damn team where most coaches don't last more than a couple years!! Penn State fans are rabid fans. Does anyone actually watch sports at Westboro Baptist?? Isn't there one male that hasn't been emasculated in the Westboro congregation that watches ball and thinks this idea is going to end REALLY badly?? Wow Westboro, I thought that you were seriously taking your own life in your hands when you were dumb enough to mess with American Soldiers and then Ryan Dunn but now your going to try fucking with football fans? This Church has a death wish.

Obama is going to give the American Public yet another "Blueprint" on how to fix our Nation, just like back in May 2011 when he was pushing his "Bill" on Congress to fix the economy. The same "Bill" he said he would have a "Blueprint" for the following week and we haven't heard about it since. Oh please oh please yes Mr. President give me a vague idea of a vague plan that has yet to exist and will never see the vague light of day! Did you know that Obama increases our national debt by almost $6 Billion dollars A DAY! that's almost quadruple what Bush did.

My personal life is a train wreck that continues derailing every 2-3 days. It's much like a really intelligent zombie that keeps ducking out of the way of that perfect head shot. It'll either get past this or it won't. Just gotta wait and see.

My quest for a Dentist went well as did my subsequent visit to the dentist that I now believe is a God of some sort. Man is phenomenal, got a dental issue in Syracuse go see Dr. McGrath!! My smile is all fixed and happy :)

Till Next Time Faithful Readers,

BEX

An email from my Dad, funny as hell!!!!!

http://bexchaosandcandy.blogspot.com/2012/01/email-from-my-dad-funny-as-hell.html

An email from my Dad, funny as hell!!!!!

Not sure where it came from but this is funny as hell. Dedicated to all those ass monkey's that forward stupid fucking emails:

Subject: Thanks for the emails

As we progress through to the end of 2011, I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .

THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up a dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician . .

Oh, and by the way.....

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

NOW YOU HAVE YOURSELF A VERY GOOD DAY…

The Great Biblical Quest for a Dentist

Where the hell is that little elf from the Rudolph cartoon that wanted to be a dentist so damn bad?????

Since I've been home I have used one dentist and I didn't really care for them. First off, they never really want to work, they just want to pull your tooth if you don't have insurance. I don't like that plan unless I have to. And the dentist they usually stick me with is an oompa loompa sized woman with a seriously thick and scary German accent. That accent mixed with her coming at me with a surgical steel instrument that looks as if they used it in the movie Hostel.....uuuummm, NO!!!! But I still go every year and get my check up, except this year.

I've had a problem with my front tooth for quite awhile and for some reason Dr. Mengele has yet to fix it after almost 4 years of seeing the scary little imp.

Well my plan has been to do some self improvement this year. Started with cutting my hair back to it's normal militant shortness, dying it pink again and going for a facial and skin consultation. Next on the list was to get some sort of Health/Dental insurance and take care of that.

Murphy must have heard my plan because he circumvented me bigger than shit as would be expected in Bex Universe.

I have a bad habit of grinding my teeth in my sleep and had promised myself to get a night time mouth guard but of course forgot. Sure enough, took a nap and cracked a damn tooth!

The Great and Biblical Quest begins.....

Immediately I start calling dentists. Half of them want $200 for me to walk through the damn door. The other half want $70 to walk through the door. Both halves are giving me quotes for a crown and the procedure ranging between $800-$1600. They won't accept payment plans but will accept me making payments and when I've reached $1600, they'll fix the tooth. What, really??? Isn't that considered torture???? I think my ex-dentist Dr. Mengele has put my name out in the dental community.

During this process it was brought to my attention that there's a credit company out there that works directly with dentists. Well I've been on the fast track to fixing my credit after having my identity stolen 4 times and making serious progress. Evidently not enough progress for them, DENIED. So I went after other insurance options. I make too much for Medicaid, too much for Healthy NY and because I'm self employed no normal insurance company will touch me with a ten foot pole even though I get a structured payment every month and am set to get it for the next 4 years. Wtf???

At the last minute I get a return phone call from one of the many sadists, oops I mean dentists. They were super cool and want me to come in on Thursday to go over my finances, set me up with a plan, look at the tooth and decide on the best course of action. No charge. I almost died of shock negating my need for a sadist, oops I mean dentist.

Here's the ironic, Murphy twist to the story and your immediately going to see it and start laughing.

I have a fear of dentists. A debilitating, paralyzing fear of dentists. I usually have to take a xanax just to go in for a freaking cleaning. Shoot at me and I take it better than the thought of going to the dentist. The reason behind this fear is that my childhood dentist was super aggressive and not exactly caring of how other people felt as he's propped on top of you with some malicious looking instrument and coming at your face with super human speed.

He's the dentist that accepted me.

I'll let ya know how this plays out, if I'm not knocked out on xanax. Wish me luck!!!


BEX

Fire trucks, syringes, Steve Jobs and who let Sarah Palin out of her box?

Only been awake for a half hour and the news already has me cracking up.

First up is the guy in San Diego that broke out of a California prison by stealing their bright yellow fire truck. What was he in jail for? Grand theft auto. How in his mind did stealing a bright yellow fire truck equal an escape??? It's a bright yellow fire truck!!! Where were you going with that where no one was going to notice you? And how exactly did he think he was going to ditch the BRIGHT YELLOW FIRE TRUCK????

In Georgia Walmarts 15 syringes have been found inside clothing pockets and a pair of slippers in the past few days. No news yet on if there was anything in the syringes at one point or if they were empty. I just picture some crazed heroin addict shooting up throughout the store and shoving the needles in clothing pockets. No I don't REALLY picture that, c'mon! But seriously, who the hell runs around a Walmart shoving syringes in clothing and slippers? I think a worker in one of their sweatshops is looking for payback for losing that $.03 cent raise that would've put him up to $.10 and hour. That's what you get for outsourcing to super poor Country.

I know that Christmas is over but my birthday is in April, so for all those Faithful Readers already looking for my perfect gift....I want the Steve Jobs Action Figure!!!
From an article on Digital Trends : "The figure will stand 12-inches tall and it comes with a wide variety of accessories, including his trademark blue jeans and black turtleneck top, a pair of socks, a tiny pair of New Balance shoes and two pairs of glasses.

With the figure all dressed up, he needs somewhere to go, so a stool and a backdrop with “One More Thing…” written on it provides the perfect chance to recreate your favorite Apple events from years gone by."

I will carry my Steve Jobs doll everywhere with me and I'm not joking, the man was not only a super hero to me he was a genius and the epitome of what can be accomplished with determination and a good head on his shoulders. The man and his partner started in his garage, refused to sell out and made their wildest dreams come true. I WANT A STEVE JOBS DOLL!!!!

Sarah Palin gave me a chuckle this morning. She was on CNN telling John Huntsman and Michelle Bachman to give up their run for GOP candidate. First saying that Huntsman "Didn't give it a good ol' College try" and then going on to say Bachman "Should realize it's just not her time"

Let's start with the fact that Palin isn't even a Governor anymore, isn't in Congress, isn't in the Senate, isn't even a GOP candidate herself. She wrote a book, starred in a show about Alaska in which, to my dismay the bear did not eat her. She's turned into the Paris Hilton/Kim Kardashian of politics. She's famous for being famous. I personally don't care for either Bachman or Huntsman but feel the need to send them an email begging them to not pay any mind to Sarah. Say what you will but would you take financial advice from Bernie Madoff? No because he failed. Why take advice from someone that failed as a politician? Get the cattle prods and put her back in her box!!!!!

Now there saying that the new sweeter flavored Vodka's such as whip creme and marshmallow will entice underage people to drink. LMFAO!!! Really, seriously??? Yeah because up until Smirnoff came up with Marshmallow Vodka we didn't have such a thing as underage drinking!!! Why, back in my day we were in bed by 9pm, our chores were always done, homework completed, and never would consider such a thing as drinking before we were of legal age!! Hold on.....laughing so hard gotta wipe the tears away and think I might just pee myself here. I'm thirty freaking six!!! Man the only thing I looked forward to when I was a teen was drinking beers on the weekends with my buddies!!! It's a rite of passage for any teen, not all mind you but for some. Please Marshmallow Vodka is not the issue. And as a side note, how fucking gross and disgusting does Marshmallow Vodka sound, gagging a bit thinking about it.

Till Next Time, Faithful Readers

BEX

2012, changing the aspect of my views. Not a resolution!

Most people begin the New year with a resolution and usually, statistically by February have failed their own damn resolution. I, personally, have never made a resolution nor will I. In fact, I generally do not celebrate New Year's at all. This year I painted my nails, watched some decent movies, kissed my best friend and promptly went to bed. It's a new year and like the other 36 that I have lived through, this one will have it's ups and downs like all others. I am hoping that it does less damage to me than last year but hey even that was worth all of the lessons that I learned in those 365 days. Good or bad it will be an experience.

I am however going to change the aspect of my views and general reactions to certain things. This change in thought happened a few days ago when I sat down and thought about all that has transpired in the past 3 weeks, it brought about a personal epiphany of sorts.

Twice in less than a week I let two people attack me verbally and I kept my mouth shut, listened to every word and stored it away for future thought. And I did think on it quite a bit. Generally I could give a rat's ass what other people think especially when they aren't a major player in the game of my life but, someone close to me did the same thing a week later. This made me stop and think it all through.

Here's the conclusion that I came to. The person close to me has a bad history of playing upon my emotions, attacking my insecurities(don't die of shock, even I have insecurities), and sabotaging my personal relationships. I discussed this whole situation with an outside party and decided it's time to put some distance there for my own good. I can't keep letting this happen and enabling someone to hurt me on purpose.

As far as the other person goes, well as self serving as this sounds, she acted out of jealousy and fear derived of her own insecurities which she then projected on me. Not going to happen again. Twice she's been a pretentious, know it all, rude, uncouth person in MY home. Next time she wants to watch her mouth.

I've been through allot this past year and allot of it I believe was self induced because I wasn't true to myself. Dave would have you believe that I conformed for the 2 guys I was with but that is wildly untrue. I was probably more myself around them then at any other time through the year. I acted and reacted the way the people around me expected me to and that's not me. I am a big advocate for taking responsibility for your actions and I failed myself with that this year.

No more letting others dictate my emotions, actions, life. I have a comfortable existence, financially, emotionally, physically. And I will no longer feel bad because others are jealous of this. And I will no longer let others twist my perception and dictate who I am friends with and who I speak to. The past is exactly that, past me.

My policy has always been an open door policy, doors open come on in. I still have an open door policy but now you must leave your baggage some where else because it's not my job to deal with it.

I can't fix you, hell I can't fix me. I'm just looking for someone as broken as I am now, lol.

Hope you all have a Happy New Year and remember it is a new year, time to let the past be just that, the past. Try living for the moment Faithful Readers.

Till next time,
BEX