Welcome to the 7th level of Hell!!

This is a spot for my thoughts, musings, observations. If your offended by my words than please feel free to never visit again. However if you enjoy the strange happenings of my life and weird way my mind works I personally invite with a warm little cyber hug to join me again and again on my journey!

Bex

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Clarifying and Informational Bullshit

Every couple of weeks, I get a mini vacation from my kids. B goes off to his Dad's and Ian goes to my Mom's. Even though they're teenagers and really don't need me it's still nice when they go away and I get the whole apartment to myself! I can wander around in my panties and Tshirt all I want, eat total crap for every meal and watch what I want to watch without 1 complaint, I can drink till I pass out on the living room floor, go out where and whenever I choose with whom ever I want. It's very empowering to have them gone until.......suddenly, I realize I'm bored. I'm bored out of my fucking skull!!! The house is clean, everything is done and there's no one asking me to make dinner or fix something, wtf am I supposed to do with all of this free time?? I haven't been drinking since October with one weekend being the exception so there's no beer in the house and even if there was I wouldn't drink it because I hate drinking alone, I don't want to go out because it's fucking cold outside and NOBODY looks good in that many layers of clothing, ever! And there's only 3 people on the planet that I can share a comfortable silence and my space with, 2 aren't talking to me and 1 is out of town. So it turns into a different version of the insomnia game, find something that will keep me occupied until I get bored enough to do something else. There's only one problem with this game, if I'm already bored it doesn't work because I don't want to do anything! I don't want to read because I don't want to sit still, already caught up on all the shows that I follow and have re-watched the older episodes 100 times, I could clean my bathroom but if I clean mine I have to clean the boys bathroom and if I do that I'll want to clean the kitchen again and then I might as well run the vacuum and dust and there is that cobweb that I've been ignoring, wonder how many others there are, might as well do that too. Nah, don't want to do all that, that's too much work. LOL, do you see what I mean? So I decided on a blog and my laundry that really didn't need to be done. Keep up with me on this one because my ADD has been outstanding today!!

I want to clarify myself. Often times I have a particular expression that I use that could be super offensive to some. I don't mean it that way! I say "Gay" allot, probably more than I say "Fuck". It's Gay, your Gay, How fucking gay is that?!? Now here's the part that cracks me up, it's not my Gay friends or even my Gay family members that get upset when I use this particular word, it's my straight laced, conservative friends that get their panties in a twist when I say it. Normally I don't give a flying squirrel's fuzzy ass if this offends, when have I ever censored myself outside of the company of children and clergy?? NEVER!! Your a grown up (I hope) don't like my words, expressions or mannerisms go the fuck on with yourself and don't come back! But it was brought to my attention that not everyone on the planet knows me half as well as they should and that I can be taken out of context by that minority of people. SIDENOTE: My ADD is so bad I just lost my lighter in 3 ft of workspace, no joke. Can not find it!!

Okay back to Gay! Bex definition of gay is NOT pertaining to anyone's sexuality EVER! I could care less who you sleep with as I am 100% certain you could care less who or what I sleep with. When I say something is Gay, I mean completely stupid. Example; "Your going to wear that out, it's Gay!!" means Purple and Orange do NOT match and I don't want to be seen with you and if we do happen across a Homosexual male he will beat you to death with his ultra cool lamb skin Prada messenger bag and I will NOT save you, in fact I will buy him lunch and trade super cool, secret bargain shopping spots with him! "You're Gay" equals dumbass, "it's Gay" equals I don't like it, no really, it's fucking stupid and I refuse to like it ever. "How fucking Gay is that" equals really, you need an explanation for that? Ok "How fucking Gay is that" equals Dumbass, I don't like it, no really, it's fucking stupid and I refuse to like it ever!

There are some things I consider super Gay in my Universe. You have to let my shower run for 5 minutes before you jump in or else it's freezing cold if someone hasn't already showered that day. If someone's already been in, no warm up necessary. Turned on the shower today, let it warm up, jumped in and 2 minutes later nothing but cold water! GAY! Laundry room heat is turned off because the apartment people are cheap asses so you freeze to death handling your wet clothes, GAY! The fact that I can not comfortably sit home, knowing that I am not going out anywhere at all, doing laundry in a pair of cargo pants and a T-shirt and STILL have to wear makeup, GAY!

Which brings up a funny story. One of B's little followers knows that I don't like her. It's nothing personal, just don't like most teenage girls, actually to be honest I don't like any human being at all not even my own between the ages of 12 and 22 years. That is the most useless group of people on the planet. Anyways, she was kissing my ass. She came in and said something along the lines of how pretty I was that day and how she had never seen me wear makeup before. SIDENOTE: My lighter was in my pack of smokes the whole time, GAY!

Back to makeup. I don't ever go with out makeup. EVER! My idea of going without makeup is putting on concealer, mascara and lip gloss. If and that's a big if, I am forced to leave the house before my shower I will wear a baseball cap and my biggest pair of sunglasses so that no one sees me without my makeup on, seriously ask Nicole she's seen me do this today. I look like a CIA Witness protection applicant! This little girl swears she's never seen me in makeup. If your going to kiss my ass, please make it believable! The only time makeup comes off of this face is late at night before bed when I am certain it's too late for anyone to pop over.

And here's the Informational Bullshit! I've tried some new things recently and I feel the need to share and keep you from making the same mistakes that I did. Guys, you might want to skip to the end. Girls pay attention! As most know, I am addicted to anything concerning Beauty and Fashion. One of the latest fix all fads has been this light face cream with a touch of concealer called BB Cream. It's full of vitamins and nutrients and is supposed to even your skin tone and do all manner of fabulous for your face! CAUTION: Do not use this if like me you use a moisturizer in the morning!! Not unless you want to look like your going through Puberty round 2. It's too greasy! Tried 2 different brands, Olay and Garnier both were too oily. Tried cutting out my moisturizer and all it did was make my skin dry, oily AND broken out. Garnier Anti wrinkle eye roller, supposed to get rid of those fine lines under your eyes. 3 weeks, no difference. Olay ProX facial 2 speed cleansing brush, great but only use every few days otherwise it takes off all the dead skin and then the new skin and your skin has no time to heal and it kicks into overdrive! Hyalrounic acid, not noticing a big difference to be honest but I'm in the early stages of testing so I'll get back to you on that. Neosporin eczema essentials is a must have!! Works miracles if like my son you have eczema, seriously in 2 days it was all gone!! Awesome product, 4 Bex Stars! Pink lied to me, Cover Girl Clump Crushing Mascara does in fact clump badly. Oh and one last thing, Green Days 3 new albums all suck! Do not download that shit, want crappy over produced radio pop download Ke$ha, her album is better if that tells you anything.

See, wearing makeup even on lazy days :) Keeping my world beautiful one lip glossed moment at a time!

Well Faithful Readers, we've wasted some time together and for that I thank you. However, don't be surprised if some weird thought comes into my head later and I post another blog LOL, and that's why we say....Till Next Time, Faithful Reader,

BEX The Bored!



Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Insomnia has got me pretty loopy this morning!

I haven't slept yet in the past 24 hours and for those of you that know me and/or read my blog, you know that this is a regular occurrence in Bex World. There are actually days that go by without me getting sleep which leads to me trying to find new and interesting ways to waste time. This blog page was actually born from my complete inability to sleep. See, here's how it is; insomnia is lonely as hell!! Your wide awake at 4 AM and guess what, unless your IM pal is in Kyrgyzstan  your screwed for chit chat! Internet is a wonderful thing with vast amounts of knowledge available in an instant however, even someone with my curiosity and ability to retain an incredible amount of information eventually will either get bored or draw a complete blank on what to investigate next. I once spent an entire 12 hours researching the name Ptolemy throughout history because I caught 10 seconds of some gibberish on the Science Channel about Ptolemy's Theorem and had until then only associated the name with ancient Egypt. 12 hours of my life, I lost 12 hours of my life to that blurb of curiosity that will never, ever, ever, EVER be useful at any point in any conversation that I could possibly have!

Watching television almost never works for me. No matter how many times I've watched a movie or how disinterested I could be in a show about ice fishing, there's ALWAYS something that will catch and hold my attention without fail! I will watch 18 hours of that survival show because God in Heaven knows I may fall into the icy wilds of Estonia and need to know how to survive with a hubcap, dental floss and a broken 8 track player!!!! Fuck you, Macguyver I watched that marathon of Dual Survival and the barefooted hippy bastard will save my life someday!!

Side note here: I want to see a more realistic survival show!! I do NOT need to know how to survive face eating sloths in Madagascar! I need to know important stuff like how to survive that creepy guy at the bar that looks like he's 2 seconds away from asking me if this rag smells like chloroform, I need to know how to survive in Central NY in winter when every pair of shoes that I own has open toes, I need to know how to survive ObamaCare!! C'mon smartass, barefoot hippy guy, you and GI Joe need to wonder twin powers activate and find me some REAL survival knowledge when I can't sleep for 2 damn days!!

And speaking of useless shit on television at 5 AM, how is it some jackass created an infomercial for DVD's called "Piano For Quitters" and I failed miserably at marketing this blog?? That defies all odds! I'm finding the piano guy and punching him in the balls.

Reading is no better than television. Went to the library yesterday(yesterday? Today? Wtf day is it?!?) to get some new reads and discovered that I physically need someone there to take my book away from me or I will stay up and read the whole damn book. It wouldn't be so bad except that it's book 3 in a 4 book series and I have to wait for book 4 to come into the library so now I'm stuck in a fiction limbo and my mind is racing down every possible scenario for book 4 and I CAN'T SLEEP!!!

Something interesting about my sleep patterns came to my attention, ironically on the day that I stopped sleeping(Irony, you bastard!). *Warning* advanced personal Bex knowledge comes next! I do not sleep well next to another human being unless I am completely and I mean COMPLETELY passed out drunk. And I mean to the point where you could hit me in the face with a pillow case full of rocks and I wouldn't flinch in my sleep. I do NOT like sharing my space, not even when I'm asleep evidently. I will kick the person next to me mercilessly, I will toss and turn, punch, start yelling in my sleep. But here's my natural defense against someone sleeping next to me that no one has ever escaped, I grind my teeth in my sleep. Not normal teeth grinding, I mean wake that person out of a dead ass sleep teeth grinding. If you go back into the vast Chaos And Candy archives from a year ago there was a wonderful blog about a fabulous dentist that fixed my tooth after an unfortunate teeth grinding incident!

That's not any new information to me, I already knew all of that. What I did not know is that there has been one guy that has managed to escape all of that behavior. Not one time have I done any of it while coexisting the same sleeping surface. Which becomes really god damned funny considering that he drives me bat shit crazy when I'm awake and it's been the second most tumultuous relationship that I've ever witnessed let alone been a half of. So I guess the moral of the story is to stay asleep and it'll all work out! I've been awake now for 30 hours so just about any kind of circular thinking justification makes complete sense to me at this point. I will read this later and question why someone didn't shut me up but considering I'm the only one here, I guess sleep deprived babble is acceptable this one time lol.

Okay, seriously Readers, my A.D.D. is sabotaging me pretty hard now and I can not concentrate on you, the news, having coffee and breathing all at the same time!

Till Next TZZZZZZZZZZZZ.......

BEX THE GREAT AND SLEEPY 

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New blog post for the New Year!

As always, I spent New Years Eve at home with my boys. We always stay up all night on a movie marathon and lounging. I don't celebrate NYE for a couple of reasons, one is that when I do attempt to celebrate it something goes horribly wrong! For example one year I had a stalker crash his car through the security gate at our apartment, he got to our building when the cops stopped him with a loaded gun coming to kill us. That's just one example of some of the uber crazy that finds me every December 31st. And to be perfectly honest, there are way too many people out making bad decisions, being reckless and causing general havoc on New Years Eve and let's face it Readers if there's one thing I hate, it's competition. LOL!! This year being no different, just as I decided to brave the celebration I got word of a death in the family. Ok, now that's a big ass sign to stay in.

Life has been unusually quiet recently and I have my fingers crossed that the trend continues in the new year. After all, it's 2013 and good things always happen to me when the number 13 is involved. I'm not one for resolutions, I like who I am and don't feel the need to make myself promises.

Faithful Readers, I hope that if you choose to make resolutions that you succeed and I look forward to another year with you!

Till Next Time,

BEX :)