There will be no point, no plot, no outline, rhyme or reason to this particular blog. If it gets finished Faithful Reader, you will read it and say to yourself "I just read 10 minutes of my life away for no particular reason!" but I am completely certain you may get a giggle or 2 out of it and maybe even a small life lesson from my many mistakes.
Last week was fraught with some serious drama. I lost my temper completely at least 3 times, I mean seriously straight to the point, snapped! That is not the person that I currently am. When I was younger I fought constantly, finished the bullshit others started and let my temper control me. As the years have passed, I've learned to control myself with the realization that negative energy begets negative results, life is too short to let bullshit rule your world. Now with that being said let's revisit the fact that I managed to lose my composure on more than one occasion in a really short period of time! I am a fierce person when it comes to the people and things that I truly love but I am also intelligent enough to realize when people are just trying to start shitty drama because they are jealous and petty. Generally that knowledge makes it easy to shrug it off and walk away with out another thought. This was not one of those times. I am happy at the outcome and want to send a heartfelt Thank You to the envious ass-monkey's that tried to disrupt and dismantle and generally demolish my life and happiness! Thank You!! You showed me how strong I am, how strong my relationship is and how much love is in my world from my man and from friends that are willing to show up at my house in 2 minutes and drive me to beat the ever livin' hell outta somebody, no questions asked! I have solidity in my world that you showed to me and reminded me how lucky and blessed I really, truly am.
Of course dealing with that kind of nonsense leaves a person emotionally exhausted, my man was home for extra days this week so together we had to accomplish as much as possible in a short period of time before he left town again and me and my bestie have plans early for the next 2 days so I have officially declared a non-day in Bex World. A non-day is a day that does not exist, you skip it entirely. No chores, no routine, no running around, no outside contact, no nothing. I am sitting in my sweats watching a season of Shameless, sipping cold coffee with no plans and I am strangely okay with having no aspirations today. I was up at 4:30 AM until 8 AM and only slept for 2 more hours so any motivation I would have had was lost.
So let's wander through some Random, just you and I!
On my work space and in my purse you will always find a notebook because I get random thoughts for blogs and if I don't write it down right away I lose the thought completely. LOL, sometimes this little practice of writing down random, errant thought patterns backfires on me. I write down the initial thought but forget to write down exactly where that thought was suppose to be going! So I end up with a page of truly random half sentences, words, numbers.
Last week was fraught with some serious drama. I lost my temper completely at least 3 times, I mean seriously straight to the point, snapped! That is not the person that I currently am. When I was younger I fought constantly, finished the bullshit others started and let my temper control me. As the years have passed, I've learned to control myself with the realization that negative energy begets negative results, life is too short to let bullshit rule your world. Now with that being said let's revisit the fact that I managed to lose my composure on more than one occasion in a really short period of time! I am a fierce person when it comes to the people and things that I truly love but I am also intelligent enough to realize when people are just trying to start shitty drama because they are jealous and petty. Generally that knowledge makes it easy to shrug it off and walk away with out another thought. This was not one of those times. I am happy at the outcome and want to send a heartfelt Thank You to the envious ass-monkey's that tried to disrupt and dismantle and generally demolish my life and happiness! Thank You!! You showed me how strong I am, how strong my relationship is and how much love is in my world from my man and from friends that are willing to show up at my house in 2 minutes and drive me to beat the ever livin' hell outta somebody, no questions asked! I have solidity in my world that you showed to me and reminded me how lucky and blessed I really, truly am.
Of course dealing with that kind of nonsense leaves a person emotionally exhausted, my man was home for extra days this week so together we had to accomplish as much as possible in a short period of time before he left town again and me and my bestie have plans early for the next 2 days so I have officially declared a non-day in Bex World. A non-day is a day that does not exist, you skip it entirely. No chores, no routine, no running around, no outside contact, no nothing. I am sitting in my sweats watching a season of Shameless, sipping cold coffee with no plans and I am strangely okay with having no aspirations today. I was up at 4:30 AM until 8 AM and only slept for 2 more hours so any motivation I would have had was lost.
So let's wander through some Random, just you and I!
On my work space and in my purse you will always find a notebook because I get random thoughts for blogs and if I don't write it down right away I lose the thought completely. LOL, sometimes this little practice of writing down random, errant thought patterns backfires on me. I write down the initial thought but forget to write down exactly where that thought was suppose to be going! So I end up with a page of truly random half sentences, words, numbers.
This is always sitting next to my computer!
Which isn't bad except when someone not use to my erratic thought patterns, happens by and reads what is on the page. On the left side of the page in big letters it reads "You are not Gay, you are financially frustrated" Now at the time this was written down, I was about 8 beers deep, Mav and I were talking about God knows what and he said this. At the time, I remember laughing and going "Hell yeah, that's an awesome blog!" However, I failed to write down the context of this statement and where it was supposed to be heading, now I have a slightly offensive bit of nonsense that I have no explanation for. Thankfully this doesn't happen very often, B was in my room reading my wall of post it note ideas and thoughts and I was able to explain each and every one. But there's always that exception and somehow it always ends up being something off the wall, offensive or disgusting. Damn!
As creative and chaotic as my personality is, I am a creature of habit. I find certain things reassuring, relaxing, comforting. These tiny things calm my inner turmoil, slow my mind and put me at ease. But, like me, are so completely left field that you will laugh at them!
Repetition. Not like OCD check the door lock 3 times, repetition of entertainment sources. I will re-read the same books over and over. Again not like "Hey, it's been 2 years and I haven't read this book!" more like I just read the last page and I begin it again immediately. I liken it to visiting a comfortable place. If I like the story it becomes forever a "Comfortable Place" a friendly, happy land for my imagination, where I am happy. Doesn't matter how often I read the story it's always a happy escape and reassuring that no matter what changes in my world, that world in my imagination remains the same. Television is another source of my entertainment repetition. Shows like Shameless, Trailer Park Boys, True Blood, Breaking Bad, Deadwood, Sons Of Anarchy, I re-watch these shows obsessively! Problem is that I have to start Season 1 Episode 1 and can't stop until I'm at the end of all available episodes. When I got up this morning at 4:30, B was watching Shameless, had just started it and now I am on Season 3 Episode 2!! I'm stuck in the land of the Gallaghers for the day!!
Routine. Even I don't notice that I do it until it's pointed out to me by ME, LOL!!! Normal people have routines so your asking yourself why this would seem odd to me or even funny to you. It's not so much the routine itself that's odd as my reaction to the routine itself or more importantly my reaction to missing a step in the routine.
I could honestly care less if the house is a bit messy or cluttered when I leave for the day, Ian's chores are trash and dishes so no need to worry about that, B will pick up, no worries there. I can not physically leave my house without making my bed, I have a panic attack quite literally. 2 years ago this little piece of OCD was nonexistent. I have never once in my life cared whether or not the bed was made! It just started one random day, weird huh? Even on non-days when I'm home, I can't let the bed go unmade for more than an hour after I get up! Never noticed until today that on the day Mav goes back to work, I watch 1 of my shows and absolutely have to eat steak and eggs at some point. Always steak and eggs, every single time he leaves for work! I just noticed this little routine because I was cooking it and actually stopped to consider it. It kinda freaked me out that I have been doing this for months and just realized it, really freaked me out because I was writing this blog and in the back of my head it was bothering me that there was something I was missing and didn't feel at ease until I was standing there flipping fried eggs!
It's a non-day, don't judge!
Never truly understand how weird my life is until I write it down for other people to read. Going to leave you with this real life true story event that honest to God did occur and if you have something more strangely random than this event I want to hear about it!!
I was standing in a trailer park, wearing a cocktail length fox fur coat, in front of a campfire, drinking a PBR, watching paint dry!
Till Next Time Faithful Readers,
BEX :)
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