You read that correctly. "Bex Chaos, Mayhem and Candy" Garcia (The much mentioned Army Brother)decided to give me the name "Bex Mayhem Ragsdale" then laughingly said I should change the name of my blog. So this one is for you Garcia!!
First, I will apologize for not posting recently. I have had terrible writer's block. Not that there hasn't been enough to write about but as you well know, if I'm not feeling the flow of writing then I can't push it. Faithful Readers, are you ready for this? This blog is going to be fun, funny, obnoxious, and 100% truthful and in your face. Here we go.....
Flexisexual. New favorite word, it's fun to say. Say it and it's just one of those words that bounces off of your tongue like the big pink bouncy ball that I bought to play with yesterday. Flexisexual. See, fun freaking word. Flexisexual: Straight person that enjoys kissing, flirting, etc with the same sex but remains straight in sexual preference. Or as we use to call these girls, a fucking tease!!! Not backing this particular group as they frustrate many a gay friends however love the word. Flexisexual. I'm giggling to myself every time I say it in my head.
Sarah Palin, just as funny to say as flexisexual. In a new poll, just as unpopular as Nancy Pelosi. She recently made a bad joke about the price of milk after Michelle Obama did a PSA about breast feeding. Now she's unpopular and unfunny. Didn't see that coming.
Libya. This whole story pisses me right the fuck off. We have politicians in our country standing up stating that the US needs to step in now and secure this conflict and insist upon Kadhafi's resignation. "The president stated that when a leader’s only means of staying in power is to use mass violence against his own people, he has lost the legitimacy to rule and needs to do what is right for his country by leaving now." Really Mr. President? Under that way of thinking, President Lincoln would have to have resigned as President during the beginning of the American Civil War. So we are no better than they are. Please remember that Kadhafi is doing nothing different then our President Lincoln did in our country. Let's at least put this in perspective, this is a rebel population uprising in a country that we are not even allied with and just lifted the last of the economic sanctions that we had imposed upon them in 1986 in September 2004. This is a rebel population, a small rebel population that is attempting to rise against it's current government. It's an established Government in an established UN recognized Country. And do you know why our politicians are suddenly so eager to put United States Troops into this little uprising? OIL! Need I remind our American Politicians and you the general public that back in 2001 American Politicians were screaming for us to take action in Iraq and Afghanistan and then now 10 fucking years later we haven't completed either assignment??? We (our soldiers) are still on the ground in these countries people!! Now after 10 years of combat your going to insist these same soldiers, OUR AMERICAN SOLDIERS, to what, go fight in a third war? One politician said that we need Kadhafi out now, while there's a chance before he becomes a definitive threat to the US. BEFORE??? What about Pan Am Flight 103? He wasn't a threat then? Any one remember the "Cross this line" speech he kept giving us in the 80's?? Where the fuck have these people been, under a rock? Kadhafi has always been a pain in our ass, but now he has an uprising and because he has control of some oil we are going to get involved. Well Faithful Readers, I say BULLSHIT! We've got protests and uprisings all over the Middle East currently but the United States isn't jumping into any of those losing battles. We are not the World's Police Department! We can not handle our own damn problems and problems from past Administrations, let alone the current damage being inflicted by this damn President. So here's Bex Chaos, Mayhem and Candy Advice to this Administration: Take care of our hungry, our poverty stricken population, our SOLDIERS. In other words, mind your own fucking business, Obama Administration. And as a side note stop letting Michelle wear ugly unflattering dresses that look like someone cut up the draperies or duvet, please and thank you.
Yes try not to die from shock, I do know what a duvet is.
Ok, let's take a look into my own personal universe for a minute because the Bex Universe has taken a hell of a shocking plot twist as of recently. I'm not going to go into a whole huge back story because it would take WAY too long. Let's sum up. Had to request my crazy ass egg donor to leave my home. First it was a request to do as she promised when I rescued her back in October, to go into assisted living. It quickly escalated to I don't care if you go live in a box but ya can't stay here! Shoplifting, lying, creating domestic drama, creating family drama, name it. 18 shades of crazy that I have no patience or tolerance for. It's not my job to take care of her, it's not my responsibility to continue to run to her rescue and I flatly refuse to take any negative feedback because of this situation.
Been in hiding from the public eye (no pun intended) all week because as many of you already know, I caught a couple fast jabs square to the face last saturday because my boy Dave decided it would be in our best interest to start a fight with a big, ugly bitch that thought he was cute and then proceeded to argue with him. It escalated and i kept telling her to leave me out of it 3 times. The 4th time she grabbed my shoulder and I turned around I got a punch square in the nose. Popped the nose back in place (jesus that hurts!!) and have had a swollen face and 2 black eyes all week. Loyalty broke my fucking face. And Faithful Readers, you know that I'm essentially a vain person so no makeup and a jacked face has taken a toll on my esteem this week. I know it's hard to believe but yep my unshakeable self confidence got pretty shaken. On the up side, I have a billion pairs of huge sunglasses. Gotta look on the bright side sometimes.
My son Ian made some new friends in our complex and at his request, we went over to introduce ourselves. Immediately the dad became super interested in speaking to me. Dave's looking at me like "WTF?" I excused us as quickly as possible. This morning the dad felt the need to walk Ian home and proceeded to attempt to find common ground to be friends on and for the 3rd time invite me to share his bottle of vodka. And of course as my luck would have it, my boyfriend had disappeared into another part of the apartment not to reappear till after I figured out a clever way to excuse myself from the uncomfortable situation of some big black guy talking to me about Social Distortion, Vodka and staring at my tits even in my huge Flogging Molly T-shirt.
As I'm spending some time speaking with an acquaintance on the phone (btw, I hate talking on the phone. And I never listen to voicemail so no point in leaving one) at the end of the conversation I was approached to become "friends" with a group of men that will reimburse me monetarily to do simple tasks such as take me to dinner or see me naked. UUUUMMMMMM???? Yeah you wrap your brain around that for a few minutes and you have the mental hamster wheel that I was on for hours later. Really? *looks left, looks right* Did that just fucking happen?? Really? I didn't imagine that, right? What about my personality, what about Bex says "prostitution"? Now I remember my stripper career very vividly. And I never went over the line, around the line, under the line, pretended there wasn't a line. I treated it like any other situation. With nothing but respect and honor for myself. Really? Did it really happen?? Fucking weird. My Universe was all skewed for hours after and it still keeps popping into my head.
My cell phone went all weird and sent my text message replies to dave and spontaneously sent them to my son Brian but shows no record of sending them to Brian and even shows that it was sent to Dave. Weird.
LOL, I forgot that my week didn't start with the punch heard around the world. I was at the gym and my knee slipped out of place, I over compensated and bashed my opposite knee on the machine. Mid fall the personal trainer caught me. Love the dude but holy hell next time let me fall! I'm Bex, gravity works different for me as anyone will tell you. So in 35 years I've learned how to fall. In the process of the fall my knee went 3/4's of the way back in place and the well meaning PT stated he knew how to put it back in and as I started to say, well it's mostly back in yep he grabbed and yanked. Holy hell next time let me use the damn wall to put it back in!! Between where he caught me mid fall and the grip for the yank heard around the gym and the punch to the face the next day. Yeah, uuhhhh, domestic violence victims do not look as bad as I do this week.
So now comes the part where I'm really going to piss you all off but in my defense I hope that you will read the following and stop and think about the message I'm trying to send to you no matter how obnoxiously I put it in words here.
Facebook. Do not send me these stupid, fucking ignorant, annoying "I bet you won't repost this for blah blah blah." Do not send me messages to post some stupid color of my bra to raise awareness for anorexic, polio victims of a tsunami in
Khazakastan that were orphaned by a freak Yeti encounter. Do not request that I put in my status "Bourbon" because it signals that I'm a domestic partner looking to be flexisexual, because no offense but with enough bourbon I'll tell you what ever you want to hear and may indeed go around, across, over and under the before mentioned line. All of these trumped up annoying requests are all to bring "awareness" to cancer, MS, pick a fucking disease. Well here's my challenge to you: Put your money where your status is. Instead of wasting energy bringing awareness to diseases that I've never lost awareness of so I'm guessing considering their prevalence, that no one else except maybe one lonely pygmy in the Congo that does not have internet access, has lost awareness of either. Instead of bringing awareness to subjects that we are aware of, take $5 and donate it to that charity for that disease that your so worried that I forgot about. And take me off your damn mailing list. Repost that Facebook, I fucking dare you. "I'll bet 90% of those reading will not repost this!" Lmfao, I hope not because I sincerely hope you could come up with your own original ideas.
Well Faithful Readers, I'm spent. Until next time,
Forever your guilty little pleasure (Ha, may charge you next time)
BEX CHAOS, MAYHEM AND CANDY!!!!
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