There are a multitude of reasons to hate winter in Central New York. But here we are just going to explore my self involved reasons for this hatred.
1. It's killing my social life. Every time I want to do something or I want "Company" it snows like a bitch and no one wants to come out and play!
2. Hats. I love hats!! I'm always wearing hats and I have so many of them it's outrageous. I also have sunglasses to match every single one of my hats, not joking I have coordinated sunglass and hat sets, really really. But here's where I take issue with the hats. I can't style my hair if I'm going to wear a hat because the hat smooshes my hair down so that it's not spiky, even with the evil glue anything together Garnier Gel that I use. And if I don't style my hair and wear a hat it makes my short hair mold to my head so that I look like a cancer patient! Wtf is it with cold weather that makes my hair go all weird? Now I either have to let my little noggin freeze to look cute or just consign myself to wearing a hat for a full day and pray to god there's no occasion to warrant it's removal from my flat hair.
3. No one on the planet looks good in this many layers of clothing! And you can't see not 1 of my damn tattoo's, I look normal eeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!
4. I hate being inside this much but I hate the outside more at this time of year. Seriously, I can't stand being cooped up but my sincere all encompassing hatred for being cold and wet beats the dislike for being cooped up every time.
5. Being single in the winter sucks. If you have a partner it's awesome! There's the anticipation of snuggling close under the blanket and watching TV or the fun stuff that can happen under the blanket or the fun stuff that happens after the fun stuff under the blanket! There's hot cocoa with them and fun stuff snuggled under blankets and fun stuff after the fun stuff under the blankets. Ok so I'm a bit preoccupied with the blanket, do you get my point? There's no fun or fun under blankets if your single. And I don't know about all the other single people but it makes me hostile as fuck! It's like adding insult to injury in the thousandth fold.
6. The unending wet spot on the floor that you never see till you step in it in your socks. It doesn't matter if you take your shoes off at the door. That melting snow will find it's way to the middle of the floor somehow and lay in wait for you to come walking through in your socks and attack! And it ALWAYS happens once your little sock feet are dry! Never freaking fails. I hate having wet socks, I don't like things touching my feet and I can't stand stepping on or in things. So the whole wet spot on the floor, I'm guessing bothers me more than most other people.
7. It sucks having something go wrong with your vehicle and no guy to stand in the cold to fix it for you. True story, the other day my battery was going dead and I went to Autozone to get a replacement because it was under warranty. I didn't realize the parts guys couldn't take it out and I'm deathly afraid of the battery because of an unfortunate event from my past. All the guy customers heard what was going on and there was a particularly cute guy that kept staring at me and smiling. Don't ya know the cute guy started to speak, looked outside at the snow avalanching out of the sky and the wind blowing and promptly shut his mouth smiled and walked out. You could see the thought process! It went something like this " Wow she's cute, wouldn't mind getting to see her naked. Oh wait she needs help, here's my chance. Nope it's snowing and cold fuck that maybe I'll see her in the summer." So I had to call Steven to come rescue me but he was already back home in Auburn so it was a bit of a wait. If there were a guy significant other this wouldn't have been an issue.
8. Falling. Ice and snow are not a friend to the uncoordinated. Anyone that knows me knows that I have a serious inability to stay upright for too long, especially on a flat stable surface. I trip over air and gravity checks me every 5 minutes or so. I spend the 6 months of winter falling on my ass continually and usually in front of either a cute guy or a crowd. Or if I look really cute, if it's a cute day then I'm destined to fall down epically.
9. Driving becomes it's own Olympic winter sport. It's impossible to drive normal in this weather I get that. But then you come across those assholes that want to come to a complete fucking stop on an icy bridge on 81 from 55 mph to let in an idiot who got in the wrong lane and would've waited to get over but this jackass just caused 5 people behind him heart attacks because stopping fast in the winter is no longer an option.
10. Every single person in Central New York is in an epic foul mood because of 1 or more of the above listed reasons or one of those that I chose not to list such as snow plows, shoveling or frozen snot. We are a pretty aggressive and angry lot anyways but winter just brings out the worst in us. Every where you go there is a homicidal person on the brink.
Ok those are my reasons for hating winter here, thanks for letting me vent. I'm gonna go find that asshole that made me stop on 81 or the jackass from the parts store and beat them bloody now.
Till next time faithful readers,
BEX
5.
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