Some people find me very hard to understand. I believe it's because they try too hard. The key to understanding me ays in the fact that I am a very black and white person. There's no real gray area with me and what little gray area there is, well that's something you will never have access to so don't stress it. I'm actually a walking contradiction and I think that's alot of my attraction. I like being active and working with my hands but I'm also very OCD about personal hygiene. I love snuggling with someone, much like a cat I will curl up in your lap if you let me however I'm very weird about personal space. If I don't invite you into my personal space than there's a good chance you'll end up bleeding if you invade it. I like being in control of my life yet like any woman there are times I really wish there was a man around to take up some of the burden. Most of the things I like I absolutely love, if I don't like it then I despise it. There's no middle ground. I like the fact that I'm my own person, my own style my own look. I make it work for me. As much as I love my individuality I sometimes believe it isolates me. Take for instance Joe's reaction to my sometimes child like behavior. To him it didn't make sense that I would like to blow bubbles in my living room or that I wish on a star every night and look for fairies under mushrooms. To me it's natural to believe in things you can't see and to find absolute pure joy and wonder in something as simple as the feeling you get when you go too high on a swing! But I also have very real responsibilities, I have a son at home. And damn it I am not looking for a daddy for him, I really freakin hate that misconception. It annoys me and I find it offensive and degrading.
It was brought to my attention recently that I challenge people when they're in my immediate presence. Not really all people just people that I'm attracted to. I do realize that I'm doing it and there's actually a method to my madness. Unfortunately because of all the guys I grew up with and the guys I've surrounded myself with over the years I have a tendency to get a little defensive around guys and automatically try to Alpha them into submission. Mostly because I'm looking for someone that won't back down. Lol must work because I haven't found one yet! Another friend of mine also made the observation that I tend to run away from settling down. Part of it is because I like being a gypsy, I live for the prospect of living someplace new and meeting new people, I love an adventure! I just haven't found anyone to adventure with me. I don't want to settle down, I want someone to run with me!! Unfortunately 99% of the population are adverse to starting new some where on a whim.
I think it all comes down to this when dealing with me: I am my own brand of crazy, my own brand of sexy, my own brand of annoying, my own brand of tom boy, my own brand of intense. If you are looking at me with preconceived notions and expectations than you will be disappointed and confounded by me and we are better off as friends who occasionally drink together.
As always faithful readers it is a pleasure to share time with you, til next time......
Bex
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