Kirk Cameron, Self Awareness and Funny stuff that caught my attention

I know that you've been hanging in suspense concerning the fate of the squirrels in my ceiling. Rest easy Faithful Readers, both squirrel armies have survived to fight another day much to my dismay. Was searching for a subject yesterday and I came across something that made me laugh until my sides hurt! Everyone remember the actor Kirk Cameron from the show Growing Pains? I was never into the show or the guy to be honest I thought both were cheesy as hell. I was doing a bit of research on the web concerning the scary amount of mass animal deaths across the world recently and there was the glowing nugget of happiness in bold script on CNN! Now I'll give you a bit of back story to help you out. Somewhere along the line Kirk Cameron found religion and became a born again christian. He's spent the past couple of years starring in the Left Behind series movie adaptions. I like that series, it was very well written however no wish to see the movies because Mr. Cameron is in it. Kirk took it 15 steps further, he became an Evangelist and now has a religious TV show and runs around the Globe preaching. Anderson Cooper was doing the story on CNN about the mass animal deaths and called in a Religious Expert to comment on if this is in fact a sign of the Apocalypse. Who was the "Religious Expert" you ask? Kirk freakin Cameron. All the respect I had for Anderson Cooper disappeared in a cloud of bad 80's sitcom dust. Of all the respected, educated, intelligent Religious Leaders on this planet, Anderson Cooper's "Expert" is a failed actor? At least go the successful actor route and call in the Scientologists! I can at least respect their brand of crazy. First off, I do not buy the whole "This thing happens all the time but now our news travels faster" excuse about the mass animal deaths. And I really don't buy that flocks of thousands of birds are all crashing into fireworks all across the globe in a weeks time as being normal, nor do I buy the whole fish and crustaceans dropping dead on beaches as being normal either. I wasn't buying any of this candy coated shit to begin with but when a respected news source pulls in a cheesy actor/evangelist as their "Expert" NOW I know something is shady is happening in the world! Get your Zombie/Apocalypse plans together Faithful Readers, we may have to use them!!!

This is kind of a two parter here. Self Awareness and funny stuff I noticed at the bar last night. I had to laugh because I noticed an interesting social anomaly last night, we've all noticed that girls travel in packs and that pack ALWAYS has 1 fat and/or ugly girl that one of your buddies is going to get stuck with for which you will owe him a massive debt. But have you ever noticed that short people travel in packs also? Yep, little groups of people 5ft 4in and shorter roll in tiny smurf packs AND every 3rd one has 1 tall person! I'm not making this up! Really, seriously! Short people travel in clusters and pack 1 tall guy/girl for backup it would seem. Now when I go out I always pack 3 or 4 big guys and 2 or 3 smaller guys that are scrappy as fuck so you underestimate them and are dumb enough to go after the big guys. I NEVER travel in packs of short people because then the attention wouldn't be immediately focused on ME! And let's be real Readers I've said it time and again, I am a self involved creature first and foremost. I got a big giggle out of watching the Smurf Packs circulate the place. They had tiny migration paths that they followed and of course my imagination took this to the next level and I kept waiting for the tiny little packs to wander too close to the packs of taller people and just have 1 of the taller peoples heads turn into a T-Rex and snatch one of the helpless smurfs out of their pack. I have a brilliantly vivid imagination.

Okay, so there was one rather odd moment that happened last night and it slightly knocked me off balance at first. I had a girl start gushing on me in the ladies room about my Pink hair, not that odd I always get that one person that is awed by my hair and ink. No, this chica kept finding me lmao. Here's the part that kind of at first made me laugh (A LOT) then made me stop and think. This little girl was pretty sexy, tight little body, pretty face, amazing eyes, silky voice. I personally put her in the "Pretty People" category. The 2 guys I was with both were brought to attention when she wandered amongst us (would've been ashamed if they hadn't) and started the endless stream of how much she admired me for having the nerve to pull of this look and how she wished she could do it. I went back inside and she soon followed with one of my guys and I had to laugh because she just turned to me and started her endless chatter again. It took me off guard because most women despise me, this one for whatever reason decided she liked my world and was going to be in it. Cam thought it was funnier than hell. In the middle of her rant about how cool she thought I was for having the balls to look like I do, I of course went into my usual inner monologue about how this isn't a "look" damn it! This is ME, outward expression of inward personality!! I don't do this to look cool, Pink hair is a pain in the ass! 22 Tattoo's is a pain in the ass! I don't "do" it at all, it just IS, it's just me. That being said, I had a moment of self awareness. A bunch of you, I grew up with or have known since high school. That group sometimes remembers me being a wee bit quieter and less inclined to be the center of attention. That was the group that were more acquaintances then close friends. And then there's some of you that met me on my journey to self awareness but not quite there yet. I strongly credit my experience as an exotic dancer for making me fully aware of who I am. There were other paths that gave me strength, courage, honor, loyalty along the way. But by being "Tyler" for so long I really got comfortable with me and found the ability to let all aspects of my personality come together and shine rather than repress parts of it. By letting "Tyler" infiltrate "Becky" we got the "Bex" that stands before you today, Faithful Readers! An individual that will neither conform or bow to another, a free roaming agent of chaos, victim of Murphy, outspoken, loving yet self centered creature that believes in keeping it real and has faith in herself and her friends, I will love you and be there for you till the end of time.

It only takes one step forward towards self awareness to make you the individual that you long to be!

Till next time, Faithful Readers,

BEX!

Squirrels in my ceiling, no it's not a clever metaphor

I live in a pretty nice apartment, decent square footage, the bedrooms are pretty spacey. I like the floor plan because while it's pretty open all the rooms are also very separate. There are few bitches that I have about my place besides the bathrooms being small and the loopy broad that is our property manager. This being said, there is one thing about my apartment that truly drives me crazy. I live on the top floor, 3 flights of stairs is a pain in the ass but normally I don't have the worry about noise and an upstairs neighbor. Right around the time that we skipped Autumn in central NY and went straight to Winter, squirrels discovered a way into the crawl space between my ceiling and the roof. At first I was annoyed enough that I planned on going down to the office and complaining to the above mentioned idiot savant that runs the place. But after some minor deliberation, I decided that I wouldn't because she is the kind of person to poison the fuzzy little creatures and I don't want the brutal death of harmless woodland animals on my karma. After all the tiny little creatures are just looking for shelter in a land of unforgivable winter weather, what harm are they doing to anyone??? Fuck those fluffy little bastards!! I'm an insomniac you know this, do you have any idea how hard it is to sleep listening to 3-4 sets of tiny paws scampering around? I swear to Jesus they have found little squirrelly combat boots, there's no way on this earth that squirrels can stomp that loudly! It's New Years day, I have a hangover. I woke up to a bangin headache brought on by more jello shots than any one human should ever consume in one sitting. Of course the squirrels sense this with their evil powers and decide to start up. One squirrel said something about the other squirrels mother, insults exchanged until it escalated into full blown squirrel mayhem! Have you ever heard a squirrel growl? Imagine a squirrel in your head and then imagine the high pitched growl it would make in a throat that tiny. It's both hilarious in it's cartoonishness and disturbing in it's utter violent anger. I feel bad for the squirrel on the other end of that vicious, tiny little growl because he got a can of squirrelly whoop ass opened on him! Since the end of the 15 minute squirrel riot incited by squirrelly mutiny, it has been shockingly quiet. I'm starting to wonder if either squirrel army survived, guess I'll find out at 3 am.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Faithful readers, it's going to be a great year! My resolution this year is to keep you entertained and laughing!
Till next time,
BEX

A short explanation of Murphy and how he directly affects my universe

People have again and again asked me what I'm talking about when I say that Murphy is kicking my ass. Now I know at some point I have already blogged about this so my only explanation is that people are either not listening to me or they are all illiterate.

"Murphy's Laws 1. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong"

There are many differing views on where the list of Murphy's laws came from and who first uttered them but I believe in Murphy as an unseen force in the Universe. I'm not here to argue the origins of Murphy. To me, Murphy is the definition of Irish Luck. Sure everything will work out in the end but it will take the most fucked up, damage causing route possible. It's the Universal truth that anything that can go wrong WILL indeed go wrong.

Now most normal human beings on the planet only get a taste of Murphy's sick sense of humor once, maybe twice. Me? I get to Share my life with this twisted, imaginary bastard. There are 3 factors that directly play into my life with Murphy. 1. How long a period have I gone without something going wrong? 2. How long has everything been going according to plan and/or how happy am I? 3. How broke am I in direct proportion to how much Murphy's damage could cause me monetarily? Add all 3 of these together,shake,serve in a chilled pint glass and there you have it, a recipe for a perfect disaster! Or better known as a day in Bex life!

Now I know that there are those of you out there in the 'Verse that are cynical, non-believers. You will say that I am being paranoid or trying to justify my shortcomings on an unseen force. You will say that I bring these events on myself by my own bad decisions.

I answer this very simply by saying you obviously don't know me very well and I dare you to spend a 48 hour period with me. Although I will warn you that Murphy may take notice of you by your association with me and I'm not responsible for any damages that may occur due to this association. As Cameron so succinctly put it the other night, I am not the exception to the rule I am my own rule. And no other rules apply.

My Christmas went really really well, the week leading up to the holiday went really really well with exception to the broken finger/manager from hell debacle that really wasn't a debacle at all, just a small dose of Murphy, tiny by comparison to what was waiting for me. Honestly, except for some minor turbulence the past 2 months haven't been that bad. And the past couple weeks have been positively fabulous.

Here's an example of Murphy in direct coalition with my life. Yesterday I jumped in the truck to go pay a bill, as I was driving I noticed my dashboard suddenly got brighter. Check Gauges light popped on (never seen that one before) looked at the dash and my temperature gauge is red lining (going all the way in to the red, for my non-mechanically inclined readers) and suddenly there's no heat in the truck. I immediately think thermostat, heater core, obvious stuff. I got home as quickly as possible, parked the truck and just shook my head at her. *Sigh* Of course this would happen, it's been 2 weeks since anything was wrong with Bella and my repair bill is paid up. *Heavier Sigh*. All morning today I've been trying to reach Shorty at the garage and all morning I haven't been able to get through. Finally my friend Nate drove by there and called and informed me the shop has a closed till further notice sign on the door. He thinks they're doing some sort of renovation (I hope) but no idea when it should be open again. Now as if that wasn't bad enough, Nate decides to be possessed by the spirit of Murphy. In the demonic voice of my unseen destroyer, not considering that his words are crushing my soul and wiping out my very will to exist. In the cheeriest voice your imagination can summon, Nate decides to start listing all the possibilities of things that are wrong with the truck alphabetically from bad to apocalyptic to drink the cyanide laced kool aid now, thank you sir may I have another? There is no *sigh* inserted here because I'm hyperventilating in the worst panic attack I've ever had!!

Murphy directed me to buy a cursed truck. Cursed I tell you, Cursed!! Not ordinary cursed, not by a long shot. CURSED! By some unknown,ancient,indestructible,incurable entity that no amount of exorcism or blessing by any known religion will cast it from my Blazer! CURSED! *SIGH*

One valuable lesson that living with Murphy has taught me, Breathe and laugh at the amount of truly horrible luck I possess. Because if you don't learn to laugh at yourself amongst these circumstances so extraordinary, you will lose it.

However as stated to a friend today, Someday I'm going to accidently cross paths with a man named Murphy and on that day I am going to snap and fucking lose it on that poor unsuspecting stranger.

Till next time faithful readers,
BEX

I'm not sure I like where this is going

My holidays were good this year. I got a bunch of cool stuff, the boys were both happy with what they got. My Mom was super happy! We gave her a gift certificate to the salon that I use and yesterday she went and got her hair cut and got it frosted, it looks wonderful! She even bought herself makeup! Slowly her self esteem is coming back and that makes me happier than anything else this holiday season. It makes me feel good to see her feel good.

I'm at a weird spot in life right now. I'm happy to be done with that stupid job, I love my new smart phone and the fact that I'm with a real service again, I'm excited looking forward to spending some time with my friends, and seeing my dad in 2 weeks. There's a ton of stuff going on in my world in the next few weeks so I'll be busy but having fun. But my emotions are a hot mess. There's a lot of confusion and a lot of turmoil happening there. I was going to say that I don't know what to do about it but after reading my own words, I realize it's just a matter of taking a breath and relaxing. I only make things worse when I stress and make it out to be a bigger thing than it is.

I am looking forward to this new year coming up! I have a couple things to keep me busy and I'm making a conscience effort to work on them and not just let my ideas fall to the side this time. I'm going to take some chances this year, real chances not chances involving alcohol poisoning. Going to put my energy into constructive endeavors and not just recklessness. If I can get all my ducks in a row, it'll be a good year! And if I can't than I'll go back to being reckless and it'll still be a good year lol!

I hope all of my Faithful Readers had a great holiday and I hope you all have a wonderful New Year! Remember to keep reading in 2011!!!

Till next time,
BEX!

Manners, being considerate and things that have caught my attention

Admittedly there are things that I am obsessively snotty about, I won't use anything but Bath & Bodyworks sprays and lotions, I hate using a smaller cell service, some products I will not purchase unless it's a major brand. But there are other things that REALLY make my snotty ass attitude come out full force, the biggest one being manners, being considerate and common courtesy. I will tear someone down in public, I will humiliate you and make you ashamed for yourself for these transgressions. I am astonished by the lack of manners and common courtesy in the world! Why are my son's generations not being taught these simple rules for how to act in public? Why as parents have you not taught your children something simple such as "Please, Thank you, Your Welcome and the one that really gets me, Excuse me" Is it so difficult to say Excuse me when passing someone in close proximity??? And I would love to just pin this on the younger generation but truth be told it's not just them, I watched a woman in her 40's do this in a store recently. She knocked right into a pregnant girl and never once looked at her and said excuse me, I'm sorry. We, the American culture, have no instinct towards being polite at all. I've been all over the world and back again and never witnessed once the complete lack of social skills that we display in public. I am pleading with the public, do not leave your house unless you fully intend on at least using a minimum of politeness and courtesy. Hold the door for someone, say Thank you, please, your welcome, excuse me, let someone with less items go ahead of you, be aware of the senior citizens, mommies to be, moms w/ little kids etc. BE POLITE!! I promise it won't fucking kill you, you will not experience spontaneous combustion in your mouth for using nice polite words! The world will not collapse because you teach your curtain climbing mouth breathers to hold a door for an old lady!! Think of how much nicer it would be to go out to the mall, movies, bar, anywhere actually if we all just pulled out our manners? Do it just for that self centered reason, to make it more pleasant for yourself if doing it for the general public is too much to ask for from such an upstanding citizen such as yourself.

Most people will think that being considerate falls under the tirade of using your manners and it does to an extent but I'm going to be a bit more specific. In the past week I've come across 2 glowing examples of idiotic morons that have not only not been taught common courtesy but seriously lack common fucking sense to stop and think about what they're doing and be considerate towards others!! Really, this disturbs me on the most basic, core level of my being as a member of the human race. I know that intelligence isn't a thing that we can give out however, common courtesy is that little thing that makes you stop and think about your actions and how they affect other people around you is it so hard for people to do this?? Why, Why is it so hard? I'm not going to go into explanations because it would cause drama and I DO NOT ACCEPT DRAMA but I will say this, Some people better understand to pay closer attention to their own houses before disrupting mine. Throwing out an apology and then acting without consideration right after, does not make it all better it just makes your true colors of mouth breather show through brightly and clearly for the world to see. And stupid is not a color that looks good on any one.
The second shining example of twat this week was a combination of make me laugh because you took yourself seriously and wonderment at the lack of common sense. My job is to go in and rearrange stock rooms and re-inventory all the items within. I like manual labor jobs, it's no secret that I love the sense of accomplishment that comes from these types of jobs and this one was cool because it was like working a great big room sized puzzle. I ran out and got this job literally. It took me 24 hours. I didn't really want a job but I figured that getting something small and part time to get me out of the house would be cool. And I got pressured into it by 2 people that said repeatedly I needed to. Back to the story. So I rearranged this 1 storeroom full of sporting goods and weight sets. Took me a week of busting my ass but it's a beautiful little room now. Instead of saying "hey good job, looks good" the midget, bi-furious, man hating, angry little gnome of an assistant manager came in and threw a hissy fit. I showed her that on the shelving units the products behind the ones in front were the same as the ones behind thus making it even easier to find something even though it's all listed in individual sections labeled on the shelves and in the hand held computers. Hostile, man hating, pretend lesbian went ballistic swearing that it was too complicated and no one would be able to find anything but this section is her section and she let's no one else in there so in essence she's saying that she's too stupid to find anything in the simple, crayon written organization. OUTSTANDING award for stupidity this week goes to Michelle! Oh wait it gets better, she also gets this weeks EXEMPLARY award in lack of social/management skills! Yep went in on friday after going to the emergency room and getting my finger all splinted up to give her a note from the hospital saying that I was not to work for 1 day. Michelle then threw one of her fun bi-furious hissy fits because and I quote "What the hell 1 day do they mean??" my answer(in true Bex form) "Next thursday. Seriously the next day I work" I stood there wondering if I really just had to explain that to someone in management, did that just happen?? My angry little gay-tend (gay pretend) gnome then decided it was okay to start raising her voice at me, telling me that someone else on staff broke their finger and was working through it and she didn't accept my doctors note and "I can't believe you had me called all the way up to the service desk it's your job to find me!". I couldn't decide if I should slap her or laugh at her, I ended up laughing at her. For more reasons than the above, I blew today off and I'm on a mission to get fired in the next 24 hours. It's a fun mission and just in time for Christmas and New Years, SWEET!! If they don't pull me in and let me go first thing tomorrow, I'm going to be as annoying, snotty, sarcastic, confrontational and pretentious as only Bex can be! Level 15 on the Bex aggravating scale. Expect to hear from me early tomorrow.

Time for current events! 3 things have really caught me this week. 1. The Royals!! Oh how I love the Brtish Royal family! I do I do, they are one of my favorite obsessions. Princess Diana wedded Prince Charles I was allowed to stay home from school to watch, same with Prince Andrew and Fergie the Duchess of York. I could go on and on about the Royals. Prince William marrying Kate is too cool for many reasons, I am excited for them and wish them mountains of happiness from my heart and soul. And because of the decision to snub President and Mrs. Obama from the guest list, I love the Royals more! If this little move doesn't magnify how little this President is respected, I don't know what will. Guess what Obama, Presidency doesn't buy you world wide respect and your idiot wife should've been slapped for touching, let alone hugging THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND! I'm an idiot commoner from Upstate New York and I know better than to touch a member of the Royal Freaking Family. I'm so glad they didn't get invited, it'd be like letting your trashy inbred cousin crash your wedding! Also, am I the only one that got a big laugh out of the picture of Camilla and Charles' car getting battered by angry protesters? She looked like a big frog or a big mouthed Bass out of water, lmao!
2. Veteran Kayaker gets eaten by giant crocodile in Congo, Africa. Hhhmm, didn't see that coming. Don't even have to comment on this one it speaks for itself.
3. Sheriff Grady Judd from Polk County, Florida is the ballsiest man on the planet! A man wrote a book, a how to for pedophiles. Literally, not kidding, google it. He lives in Colorado. Judd's agency sent a request to purchase this book directly from the author and then charged him with trafficking pornography/offensive material involving children and other stuff. No one else in this country has worked to find a loop hole to snag this disgusting child raper and everyone is afraid to step on this individuals freedom of speech rights, not Sheriff Judd! He said "If the other 49 States don't have a law in place for these people, we do!" I say Congratulations Sir! You keep doing shit like this and run for President, I'll vote for ya Judd! Love itloveitloveitloveitloveitloveitLOVEIT!!

Till Next Time Faithful Readers,
BEX!

Christmas,Boys not Men and stupid crap NY State does

Ok back to my usual no nonsense way of looking at the world, Faithful Readers!

Christmas changed for me somewhere down the line. I was that kid that was up at 4 am waiting for 6 am to come because that was the designated earliest time Dad would allow. It didn't matter how much was under the tree but somehow my parents always spoiled the hell out of me at Christmas. My whole family did. I guess I've become an Adult in some ways. Because I tell everyone not to get me presents, mostly because I am a single mom and I can't afford to get everyone gifts. But it's more that that. I am honestly happy just being able to spend an evening with my friends, hanging out with everyone is gift enough for me. I like seeing everyone happy and joking around and that is enough present for me. These quiet moments in the morning and late at night, I sit alone in the living room and the apartment is all mine I get to look at my Christmas Tree. The past 2 years have been financially bad and Christmas was no exception so I haven't had my usual decorations. But this year I could and that to me is my Merry Christmas. Seeing my tree all decorated pretty, with my shiny pink, purple and green balls and our special ornaments that are indicitive of our differing personalities. That makes me happy, really really. I'm almost sad that it will end and I'll have to take it down because my living room looks so nice!

Enough with the happy. Recently as all have been aware, I went on a mission to find me a relationship. Those that know me well enough, you will rejoice in the knowledge that I have thrown this mission in the trash where it belongs! Seriously, enough of that bullshit I'm so insanely over that crap. I know that Big Dave, Fred, Dave, Garcia and Darius will have something to say as soon as I post this once they read this little blurb that I'm about to write. I tried to present a more demure, less aggressive, cuddlier Bex in my quest for a significant other(Yep gonna catch Hell for that one line) But do you know what that got me? That got me 3 different sets of games being played, 1 ass monkey that truly underestimated how much I see through bullshit, blown off by 2 different guys and 1 idiot savant stalker. Really?? Seriously?? Now I admit that I brought a lot of this on myself by trying to be a subdued Bex, so in the general pool of twats that I had I could understand how they would make the mistake of thinking that I was just another girl like any other. But little do they know, I'm not. I'm Bex. Here's what I've discovered in my undercover work (that's what we're deluding ourselves into believing this was) I discovered that in the demographic of men on dating sites and in the general public ages 25-40, there are actually no men at all. It's all boys, not men. Finding Men in this demographic is equivalent to finding the golden ticket! There's the one group of boys that say they're looking for the a relationship but they treat every female like a trick, the group that's out to find someone but can't help playing head games, the group that wants to ask about marriage on the first date, the group that would love to meet you but then never make plans to, and the group that sees the potential in a girl and then promptly runs away. How does anyone find someone in that hot mess?? This whole demographic is nothing but a bunch of boys playing little boy games with no respect for themselves or anyone else. I don't have time for all that crap. I think I'm happier writing snarkey, cynical crap about all of you couples rather than trying to join your ranks!

Stupid crap that New York State does, or why my dead ex-husband is getting notices at my address. Now I'm sure this happens in every state but I live in NY and this happened here. A few months ago I got a letter from NYS Child Support Enforcement stating that after 4 years they were going after my ex-husband full force for support. I called and left a message on their little hot line and then sent them an email notifying them of Michael's death. 2 weeks later I got another letter from them stating that they would update their records and then I notice that they sent a letter addressed to Michael. In the letter they tell him basically that he owes $5,000 in support and this is unacceptable however your deceased so we'll let it go. Yesterday I get a letter to Michael notifying him that the warrant and lien against him is being dismissed because he's deceased! So let's all get this straight in our heads and try to make sense of this. NYS is notifying a DEAD guy that he owes child support but they're dismissing it because he's DEAD and they're notifying the DEAD guy by mail. Congratulations tax payers, there's your money! And it's not like this is a one time thing, this has gone on for months!

Till next time Faithful Readers,

BEX

Old Man's Garage or Bella's Second Home

As everyone knows from following me on Facebook and Twitter and Myspace, my little Chevy Blazer Bella is a pain in my ass. I've sunk more money into the truck than I paid for her a year ago by threefold. Why do I keep doing this you ask? 2 very simple reasons, 1. I don't have the upfront cash to buy another vehicle and 2. It's become my obsession to not let this truck beat me. I will own this truck for as long as I live because of that second reason and I'm not joking. It's become an all out cat fight between her and I and I haven't lost to another bitch yet! I don't plan on starting now.

I was having problems with her this summer and I brought Bella down to my friend Nate who in turn took me down the road to an auto shop owned by a friend of his family. Nate vouched for me and the owner took pity and worked out a payment plan to get my truck fixed. Since that day Bella has gone to no other auto shop.

The shop is called "Old Man's Garage". It's a small 2 bay shop with a tiny office/waiting area that's usually packed to capacity with customers, mechanics, friends of the shop and owner. There's always a fresh hot pot of coffee on and if you ask nicely and the guys like you they may just tell you where they hide the styrofoam coffee cups. At any given time you walk in, some of the guys are bickering and they are always throwing good natured jibes at each other, there are raunchy jokes being tossed back and forth about each others mom, wife, girlfriend or imaginary gay lover. There's always a conversation about racing, generally 1/4 mile drag but every now and again they'll fade into other types.

The owner is Shorty. A very literal nickname as he's roughly a foot shorter than anyone else at the shop however, a bigger man you have never encountered. No person that I have had the pleasure of meeting in this world has a bigger heart, is as honorable, loyal, loving, caring, sympathetic. I can't find the words to describe what a wonderful light Shorty has and is in this world. You see I'm nothing to Shorty, he doesn't know my family and I know none of his. I am a friend of his friends son, just any other girl off the street. He owes me nothing. Yet Shorty continually goes out of his way to make sure that my Bella is running tip top, he works with me on payments if I can't pay my bill all up front which is usually the case since the damn truck can't break when I get paid! He always makes me and Bella a priority because he knows that I have to wait for her and tries to ensure that the office is just a bit warmer when I'm there. He does little things like this to make it just a bit more comfy when I'm there and I think he hopes that no one notices because it would embarrass him for someone to see his little gestures of affection. He has to wear hearing aids and if you ask any man in that shop, it's selective hearing that he suffers from because he may not hear you talking if the shop is loud but damned if he can't hear you screwing up or screwing off over all that noise! And he can hear American Muscle coming from miles away in the Summer! He lives to race in the warmer months so don't try to bring your vehicle in on a Saturday or Sunday when it's nice because you won't find Shorty there, he's already at the track with his babies. Walk in to the shop office and look up on the walls and you will see his collection of pictures and some of his trophies. His heart and soul are in those pictures with him and in his trophies.

I don't know everyone's names, I'm horrible with names. There's always 5 guys or more just hanging out having coffee, smoking cigarettes and joking back and forth. Some before work but most are retired or self employed. At first glance they are an intimidating, gnarly group of roughnecks and their mere presence discourages any trouble from occurring on Shorty's property. The mechanics don't look any different than mechanics at any small neighborhood auto shop in any town or city but they go above and beyond expectations and always work their automotive magic on anything that comes in that lot. Every person there is hospitable and kind but it takes them seeing that your a regular, loyal customer before you truly get accepted and only after a nod of okay from "Dad" as they sometimes call Shorty.

I may bitch exceedingly about my truck having to go to get repaired but I love sitting in that little room. I love listening to the insults, the jokes, the stories. Just being in the presence of those men is an amazing feeling to me, watching them and listening to every thing happening. The feeling of camaraderie between them, the brotherhood and equality they have is enormous and fills the room even if there are only 2 people there. I love that they share their jokes with me and include me in on them, they feel comfortable enough to make jokes at my expense usually sexual in nature but never disrespectful or mean. They love to pick on me for being such a pain in the ass, trouble finding little girl. During the summer months it's a constant quest to see my tits, knowing that I won't give in and knowing that they can get away with it because it's me. Any other woman walks into that office and they all attempt to clean up their language and act with the highest level of respect as that woman is someone's mother, sister, wife. She will walk in and immediately be offered a seat on the couch and a cup of coffee (or not depending on the previous statement about the artfully hidden cups) the perfect example happening today as a woman and her small daughter came in and a seat was instantly found for them, the swearing was at a minimum and the smoking ceased. She was in and out in no time at all. I don't doubt for one second that if I were having a problem, in trouble or in any danger that any one of those guys wouldn't help me. I have the utmost respect for Shorty, his mechanics and his friends and for once I wish I had the words to give that feeling from me to them and not just these inadequate, every day words. I wish I could just show them inside my heart so that they would all know that they have my respect, love, friendship and gratitude. It's not easy being a single mom, working, taking care of my mom and everything else that falls on my small shoulders but these men take away the stress of my vehicles care off my shoulders and make me forget my troubles when I'm there. We all go to Shorty's Old Man's Garage for that reason I think, to relax and forget our troubles for just a moment in time.

So Thank You, Shorty. Thank you guy's in the garage and thank you to all that are sitting in the office. From the deepest part of my heart, Thank You for everything and for being you. Oh one more thing, damn it Shorty it's a 1997 Blazer not a 99!!!

BEX