Welcome to the 7th level of Hell!!

This is a spot for my thoughts, musings, observations. If your offended by my words than please feel free to never visit again. However if you enjoy the strange happenings of my life and weird way my mind works I personally invite with a warm little cyber hug to join me again and again on my journey!

Bex

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Are you F***ing kidding me?????

In a previous blog titled "No, shit ma...there we were" I explained a day in Bex World. Most of you would think that days like that are a rarity, a fluke. In all actuality I have days like that constantly! "Murphy" loves screwing with me on a day to day basis. I'm sure in your warm, comfortable, safe life, faithful reader that your thinking that I may be exaggerating or embellishing these little stories but if anything, I'm understating allot. Again, I usually keep this my strictly business blog but I think due to circumstances we'll make an exception. And the story begins like this "Once upon a Saturday........"

Fade to 24 hours ago......

Friday. Friday should be a happy day. It's the beginning of the weekend! Parties, concerts, BBQ's, beer, friends. I love the weekend because I honestly never know what it will bring. I've honestly attempted to lay low for the past couple of days, just wanted to ride out the rest of the week and get to the weekend but evidently the Universe thought differently!

Friday began in an off manner. I wasn't hearing from someone important to me, the feud between mom and I came to a full blown explosion when I found out she was sticking her nose where it did NOT belong and I jacked my neck up sleeping! Who does that?? By the time my roommate showed up, I was a hair away from just losing it completely. As shitty luck would have it, both my roommate and my son were sleeping elsewhere. Generally I love it when that happens and would have loved it except that my important person decided to disappear completely, *Poof* gone. If misplacing people were a super power, I'd blow Stan Lee's fucking mind!! So I sat and watched TV by myself and drank some beers. Super freaking boring. I truly thought that was a bad enough end to a crappy week. Let me put this past week in perspective for you, it was so bad that speaking to my son's dad's wife was the highlight of my week. Yeah....

I wake up much earlier than my brain deemed necessary this morning. Thankful as all hell that it is cloudy because I honestly do not think I could've handled Sunshine. I wake up and the stupid damn cat is sleeping on my face. Awesome because I'm allergic to the stupid damn cat! Oh, hilarious, my eyes are so swollen from the stupid damn cat that I can barely open them! Still no word from the important person, okay we will proceed with the broken heart at full speed ahead. Okay well, let's go make some coffee. Made myself something to eat while I'm waiting on the liquid happiness to finish brewing! Except that the liquid happiness machine decided to be possessed by some truly malevolent spirit and I did not notice. Poured myself a cup of liquid happiness not looking, took a sip and very nearly died. I like strong coffee but this was utterly and completely undrinkable. It was quite literally the consistency of sludge from the bottom of Onondaga Lake. And tasted what I would imagine to be about the same. I quickly slammed water to try to get that out of my mouth while looking at the machine and realizing it only brewed half the water for a 10 cup pot, the other half of the water is now a small pond on the counter. Okay, well....clean everything up and decide to go do something harmless like check my email. HA! I'm sitting at my desk and I realize the cat is meowing in a weird way and there is a scratching noise. And it triggers a memory. A few months back the stupid damn cat was in heat. Always a good time but this time, the only time in 4 years, my female cat scented, sprayed what ever you call it, right into my $500 designer fucking handbag. Are you fucking kidding me??

I jumped out of my chair when realization hits me like a brick wall, there's Cuddles spraying to her furry little heart's content in my walk in closet, right in my laundry basket, looking up at me with big innocent kitty eye's. Oh come on!!! Really?? Chase her out of my room, trip over air, land on my face. Yeah, okay....Now I have a bruise on the side of my face and a strip of rugburn and my neck feels like someone took a bat to it. Stupid, damn cat stops looks at me and prances, PRANCES away! I said screw it and mixed half a sludge with some water because honestly I'm really fixing to snap now and there's only 4 beers! I'm sipping my sludge when I hear Cuddles again, sounds like she's in the hall so I go look. Nope not in the hall, it's coming from my room. There her little furry highness is in the closet spraying my backpack. 7 Hell's! Chase her out and slam the door this time.

There was an actual hour of quiet, a whole hour.

And then my son's stepmom called me again. The drama my egg donor began at the start of the week came to an explosive end. It's gotten so spun out that she'll be lucky if the cops aren't called on her and they don't charge her with kidnapping.

Want the true kick to the ball's? It's only 2:30 in the afternoon.

Will a faithful reader bring a Bex a beer?

Till Next Time,

BEX Giving Up!

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