I'm calming down a bit now but I have something to say

I've calmed myself down a bit but I'm still a bit hostile. This week has been filled with drama whores bent on starting some shit with me.

Do you know why people do this? I do. It all comes down to jealousy. That's what this whole mess has been about. Pure jealousy. Jealousy that I am me, Jealousy over my feelings, Jealousy that this person was no longer a part of my life.

I'm so sorry that you have no personality of your own that sucks chica. But don't lash out at me because I have an over abundance of personality and people like me. We aren't in school, this isn't the Valley, you shouldn't feel so insecure that you need to start something because you feel less popular than me. Here is my advice, Get some real friends (not the ones you've never even met on your internet site) Make yourself pretty and go have fun! Be comfortable in your own skin sweetheart, stop trying to be me and go find yourself.

I'm not sorry that you aren't a part of my life. I left you months ago because you were an utter twat! I haven't answered any of your 2am text messages since July for a reason! The one time I hang out with you in months and you turn around and lie about what happened just to insure that I'd never get back with Frank. Well it worked. Congratulations, you are now lower than snail cum in my book! It's all good. See, it didn't work the way that you thought it would. You purposefully set out to hurt me, but guess what? I'm not hurt. Pissed off, you bet! Hurt, no. Because I actually expected this. Dave and I had a whole conversation on how this was going to play out, we knew you were coming with this shit.

Here's what I came to say.

This isn't high school. And I'm sorry that I fed my energy into this bullshit even for one minute! You will not effect my life further because you trouble making ass monkey's do not exist in my Universe. I do not tolerate drama, lying, games and bullshit. Unfortunately I let you bring that crap right to me this week and I reacted instead of ignoring you. It will not happen again. This is "Bex World" and you are not welcome in it. I have been trashed by much better than you, Much better people have attempted to take me down and they have failed. I realize your jealousy of me drives you into a frenzy but I do not care. If you put this much energy into your own life that you just expended trying to ruin mine, you would have all of your dreams come true. I will move forward and this will be discarded along the way like the trash that it is. Try harder next time sunshine.

BEX!

Drama seeking douche bags and a thing called honor!

People need to stop starting shit on Facebook. How fucking simple minded, immature, dishonorable, skanky and two faced is it to start shit on a fucking social network??????

I live my life by a code of honor. If you have something to say to someone have the nutsack to face that person! Face them and have the common courtesy to give them a chance to speak their mind and if an ass beating ensues than so be it! Fucking COWARDS start shit on the internet. Hide behind the fucking internet so that you don't have to face someone, wtf is that???

I am so sick of people that are so unhappy in their lives that they have to push that shit off on your life because your happy. You want to run your mouth you silly, immature bitches? Fucking face me so that I can make you swallow your fucking teeth.

I am not a negative person but now you have fucked with me.

BE PREPARED I WILL RUIN YOUR FUCKING LIFE NOW COCKSUCKERS!

Tremble for my beloved

In your eyes I see the mists of Avalon, the castles of Camelot, Moonlit meadows dripping stardust in the humid air. In your eyes there are dreamscapes of Sun and stars existing in far off lands of make believe. I have seen your visions in your minds eye and wanted to dance on the lakes of your imagination in your arms, I've wanted to sit with you on clouds in purple skies, I've existed in this place simply by looking into your eyes.

Touches as smooth as silk and satin. The feel of just your finger tips tracing my skin brings unknown ecstasy in unknown sensations. Tasting the tingles from your lips and the sweet smell of your skin lingering in my head, drunk on your essence, on your very light and being.

Your words ringing in my ears. The sound of your voice sending chills everywhere as you whisper my name.

Oh but to lose myself in this moment and lose all time, to exist in your presence and drink of your soul forever would be too much to request. To just live in this moment, exist in this moment will sustain my heart.

Is this my heart all a flutter....

Is this my heart all a flutter,

Or is it the jalapeno's and Peanut Butter?

When in bed so close together in each other's arms we lay,

You talk of your feelings and I'm trying to find a quick get away.

My pulse races when your near by,

Because damn it I accidentally looked you in the eye!

And now there's no chance for escape,

My brain cells you will rape,

With your obliviously ignorant observations,

During which I will think of gnawing through my wrists to exit this conversation.

Is this my heart beating to fast, for you, in my chest

Or is it the thought that you will come to your senses and give it a fucking rest?

The thought of a love that endures forever makes my emotions soar,

Until I hear your shrill voice as you come through the door.

Was sitting in my truck warming it up to take Joe to work and was thinking about a couple of my friends and their ongoing plight in relationships. This is what popped into my head so I scribbled it on a napkin (why is it always a napkin that's nearby me when the Muse hits?) And here it is for your amusement. Oh, the first 2 lines are totally me, jalapeno's & peanut butter rock!! Try it!!

Forever your unspoken thoughts,
BEX!

Too funny for words

Some stuff that's just made me laugh very recently, Status shuffle, Perry Mason, My son's, crazy new stalker neighbors and of course being ME!

These may come out of order so be aware of that. I'll start small. Perry freakin' Mason! For some reason one of the premium movie channels I have on Fio's shows old Perry Mason movies starting at like 5am. Lately the insomnia has been killing me, so I've been up till about 6. Old Perry runs around with the help of his assistant solving all these wild little crime mysteries and then the criminals are like "aww shucks Perry Mason busted me, damn he's good!". I want to know how come the criminal element isn't going "Hey this Perry guy keeps catching us, $10,000 to the first person to shank this fat motherfucker!!" Seriously, how did this guy not get killed? I realize it's television and all fictional and stuff but come on a little reality would be nice, at least let him get taken hostage and have to like gnaw through the ropes to get away or have him get sliced and end up with a bad ass scar across his big melon! Those movies suck and I can't figure out why, with all the movies out there they are showing Perry fucking Mason!!

Being me is always a laugh, even when it's not. Yesterday was one of those awesome days when my Muse was working in short, witty bursts. Here are a few of my gems from yesterday, please feel free to steal a few but at least treat them like quotes and give me proper credit because it takes a lot of work to be this funny! " Ever look at one of your ex's and think WOW was I drunk through that whole relationship? If that's love I'd rather drink battery acid! Ever listen to something your kid says and wonder if he was switched at birth? How did you manage to escape Darwins Theory? Your intelligence called, it wants you to know that your not worth the effort it's leaving you. Sorry buddy! Some people aren't even worth the energy of using the brain cells damaged by alcohol! I feel my brain cells jumping to their death every time you breathe, damn oxygen thief!".
I make me laugh sometimes but this segues into my next topic very nicely.

Status Shuffle or How I can steal someone else's humor. Now don't get me wrong, I will use a quote from someone because it's funny or poignant. I will repost a status for the same reasons. And sometimes the shit you find on Status Shuffle is hilarious!!! I'm not arguing that. What cracks me up to no end are the people that ALWAYS use Status Shuffle! Every time they are online their status is from this page. Can you not come up with an original, creative thought all on your own? Is it physically impossible for you to exercise your very own humor and wit? The point of the Status is to let the world know what your doing, thinking, saying. The world wants to keep updated on you and your thoughts not the stolen thoughts of others. Hey, if you need help I'm here for you buddy! I can come up with some Cracker Jack stuff, lmao! Is that the best you got?? I don't think so, work harder!

Back to being me. My Son's Brian and Ian are endless sources of amusement on so many different levels. They are exact polar opposites. B is exactly like me and Ian is not. Ian is his own little personality and I'm not exactly sure where it came from lol. I do know for a fact that eventually Ian is going to despise me and B with all his little heart. We wouldn't be so hard on him if he didn't make it so easy! For one reason or another B had to explain the difference between our dysfunctional dynamic and what he called a "Real Family", Ian sat and listened to this, he looks at me, looks at B, looks back at me and says "I want a real family". B and I burst out laughing and Ian smiles, shakes his head and says "Nah, that's just boring!" Feels pretty fine knowing my offspring have an appreciation for my unorthodox life. Ian frequently says some off the wall shit that just makes me look at him and really wonder if he's mine though. I'm prepping a steak for dinner. Ian: Is that chicken? Me: No Ian: It looks like chicken. Me: It's not. I look at the steak and then stare at Ian. Ian: It could be chicken. Me: Except that it's Beef! Ian: The Beef could be chicken if it really wanted to be. And Ian walks away! WTF? I stare at the Beef and find myself wondering if it could be chicken if it really wanted to be?
Brian is a whole different story. I honestly do feel bad for him sometimes because he is so much like me. B, as he is called doesn't look at the world through a kids eyes and he never has. He has a quick intelligence and wit that sets him apart. He also has my impatience for stupidity and lack of common sense. It drives him nuts! And I laugh my ass off when someone says something to him that makes no sense and I see the conflict behind his eyes, "Punch him in the mouth to prevent the stupid shit from falling out or walk away and pretend I didn't hear it?" Frequently he will laugh in these situations and people take that as oh he thought I was funny but it's really him thinking your a fucking moron! It's hard for me at 35, to control my thoughts and energy sometimes so I know his struggle is twice as hard, I remember how tough it was on me at that age. But last night he was telling me his thoughts on some of the stuff that goes on around him living at his dads house. I was crying I was laughing so hard!! The look on his face when he was talking about some of the shit his 2 year old brother does. B has no tolerance for little kids, he never has. He does ok for a very short period of time but then he's just wondering why this little person doesn't just grow up? He was telling me a story about how this kid ducks behind this desk and covers his eyes to become invisible and B is like "Mom I'm too big I can't get him back there and then he will just bolt out yelling and laughing and I'm sitting there going WTF is wrong with this kid!?!" I was cracking up because B is dumbfounded by this kid! He obviously doesn't remember Ian being that little.

Crazy ass stalker neighbors. This new dude moved into our apartment complex. Joe (my neighbor) meets this dude and tells me I gotta meet him he's a wicked cool dude. I meet this guy Don and immediately dislike him. In fact we went to school with this guy! I didn't like him then and I don't like him now. I told Joe to keep him away from me. Well Don has taken it upon himself to be Joe's new best friend and is text stalking him! Don keeps sending messages like "Can I make you breakfast, Can I come over, Are you mad at me, I can see into your apartment at night" Creepy shit like that!!! Poor Joe is freaking out and constantly trying to use me as an excuse to escape this guys clutches. Having had this happen to me in the past, I'm enjoying the hell out of watching this!!

Too funny for words friends.

I'm going to laugh when Death finally comes for me and He looks like Grim from The Grim adventures of Billy and Mandy!

Till next time,
THE AWESOME ADVENTURES OF BEX!!!

Quote from Twitter

RT@BlackRavenWings: 'Great minds discuss ideas,average minds discuss events,SMALL minds discuss people.'




That simple sentence carries a lot of weight doesn't it? Which are you, I wonder?

Lessons, Smiles, and my party :)

This has been an interesting week to say the least. There are a few things that have specifically caught my attention that have given me the giggles. And there have been incidents that have helped put everything back in to perspective for me. I think I lost sight of my Universe for a minute but I got it back now. Friend Rich said he had read part of my blog and asked me why I was so negative. That kinda stopped me in my tracks and made me think. And right after he asked me that, this silly little girl started drama with me and has been pursuing that course rather avidly. Well faithful readers, I am a quick tempered person and I tend to go after people like this with a fury that makes Hell blush. I also sat and watched some silly broad do one of my Brothers dirty as could be. Here's my lesson learned: Karma is a bitch. It'll come back to both without my help. Okay I'm not that nice, I will be there when it all comes down sipping my drink laughing and pointing!

I feel very hopeful, once again very comfortable in being me. The past is behind me, the present is as much fun as I want it to be and the future is undetermined. Why don't you all come with me on this journey, it'll be an adventure!! We will try to catch fairies under mushrooms in the moonlight, search for a Unicorn, blow bubbles and dance under the stars together! I will cover you in a cloak of clouds and we will hunt our dreams together. The beauty of forever is but a step away and the willingness to accept that the unbelievable is sometimes easier than breathing. I'm glad that I've found me again, I kinda missed me.

I made the promise to myself this week that i would not let others drag me down again. I'm not by nature a negative person. A little cynical sometimes, but not inherently negative by any means. Yes I am an attention junkie, HELLO, PINK HAIR!?! But never at another's expense and never one of my brother's. Some people speak without paying attention to what is falling out of their mouths. Ironically the one condemning me is also trying very hard to BE me, even down to picking up my Ex. Well I say, You go Girl!! Damn right you want to be just like me when you grow up, I'm Punk Rock Spectacular!!! You have my endorsement baby girl! I will tell you, the catty negative shit has to go though because I've never been like that and it clashes with my inherently free spirited attitude. So my advice is to stalk me a bit harder and put some honest effort in to this little mission of yours, go forth with my blessing young grasshopper!!!

My Halloween Party is coming up fiendish readers. Please if your only able to stop by for a bit that is absolutely cool. But make the honest effort to stop by as I will enjoy seeing you as will many other guests. There will be new friends, old friends, probably people we don't even know. LMAO, guaranteed good times, smiles, laughs, memories to be made or I will throw you off my balcony! Just kidding....Or am I???? Check out the event on Facebook and RSVP, it's an open invitation to all that wish to attend and bask in the warmth and light that is the center of the Universe or Bex as I like to be called.

Okay time for a beer faithful readers, But before I leave one more thing. Please remember that life is too short and you don't know what is around the bend so laugh as hard as you can, be as silly as possible. Fall in love and don't fall out. If this were your last day would that person know how you feel, would you be remembered in a good light, would you be remembered at all? Make your mark on this world.

Love,
Bex!!!