I was just driving to the Rez to grab a carton of smokes and I noticed a couple things that made me giggle. Plus there's a couple of current events that have me scratching my head and wondering what the hell is going on in my little Universe.
Ok so driving downtown I noticed 3 traffic lights with signs on them that say "Wait for Green Light." I'm not kidding and I'm not making this up! Wait for the Green?? When did this become an option? When has it been okay to blow through a red light and then tell a cop that it didn't have a sign stating the obvious that you should've waited for the Green? It's been awhile since I've read the drivers manual but I keep up on current events and I don't remember them revoking the Red means stop law. Have people gotten so ignorant that now we have to put up Captain Obvious signs even on the traffic lights? I'm losing faith in humanity by the millisecond!
It's impossible to go the speed limit on the highway no matter what highway your on, it is a logistically impossible task. Which makes me wonder why people are getting pulled over by State Troopers all the time and then I realized it's a giant speed trap that you can not escape to generate revenue for the State. There is no human way possible to win this game so I urge each of you to stay off the highways! I'm not generally a Conspiracy Theorist but hear me out on this one and I think you'll agree my thinking isn't too far fetched. Say you have a highway that's 3 lanes. There's the far right slow lane for those fuckers that believe 55 mph translates to 35, Middle lane for the people theoretically trying to do the speed limit and the far left lane which is the passing/go faster than the assholes in the middle lane. We will leave the far right lane alone because they are doing 35 mph and we can't wait for them to stop bogging down traffic and catch up. Now the middle Do gooder lane. You technically can't go the speed limit in this lane because the guy in front of you is doing the posted speed limit, so unless your going to park your vehicle on top of his you have to speed up and pass this guy or your doing 5 miles under the speed limit. So now your in the 20 miles over the speed limit lane passing this guy but trying to keep up so as to not bog down traffic in the passing lane which translates to you going 75 mph instead of 55 mph. You've passed him now so you move back to the middle lane but because he's doing the posted limit you now have to do 5 mph over to stay ahead of him. You find your comfort zone at 60 mph until the Trooper up ahead clocks you and pulls you over. Now you have just generously donated $100 to your State, Congratulations it was very kind of you to be so thoughtful! See? Giant speed trap to generate revenue to the State!
On my drive to get smokes I did some thinking. Ya know it's not in my nature to just let things happen I either have to force it instead of waiting or I just go out and make it happen. Waiting for Nature to take it's course doesn't exist in my head at all. It either is or I will make it be is lmao! That being said I'm going to probably end up going Dave's route and telling the bartender before I tell the girl. I will explain that analogy at the end so that you get it. I started doing some serious introspective thinking on my drive and discovered a fatal flaw in my thought patterns. I think I fell victim to Societies standards and to fear of my own mortality. Subconsciously I felt the need to start dating because Societies Standards dictate that I should be married and have settled down by now. How many people do you know our age that are single and still partying like Rockstars? Not many. Almost everyone we know is settled and married with families and the whole 9 yards. And I believe as a generation we feel as if something is missing and a certain amount of guilt subconsciously because we haven't lived up to these out dated standards set for us by an out dated society. Also as we are getting older we are coming to realize that time is running pretty short. Which leads to a contemplation of our own mortality. No one wants do die alone so we find mates but everyone dies alone so it's all pretty futile if you ask me. It's a way to cheat ourselves into thinking that we are finding a way around this morbid little fact. We find mates and procreate to leave a piece of ourselves in the 'Verse so as to ensure our legacy will continue on. But call me selfish, I don't want a legacy I want to live forever! I think the world will be a crappy place with out my wit hanging around! With all that guilt of being single and 35, you find yourself compelled to go on a mate hunt. Unfortunately I put a LOT of thought into things so I end up sabotaging myself in my false pretense to settle down. I realize what I'm doing and my brain puts a screeching halt on all actions. Self realization is a bitch. I don't want to settle down, I don't want more kids, I don't want to get married, I don't want to buy a house with someone, I don't want to share my life period, end of discussion. I like my life a whole freakin lot. I like snagging one of my guy friends and trolling the bars making new friends, getting wasted and silly. I like chilling on my couch, watching my favorite tv shows or movies and not having to share my space constantly. I don't want to feel pressured into having to spend time with someone I don't want the pressure of always being nice and suppressing what I'm really thinking. And what I'm really fucking sick of is people trying to pretend that we have so much in common. Get your own fucking personality and stop trying to mimic mine. I don't want the stress of another's jealousies, insecurities, or disapproval. There's too much pressure and too may expectations involved so I'm not feeding any more into that situation. Going to take a hard right and extract myself from this crazy nonsense. In other words I'm letting things happen or letting them not happen according to Natures choice. Because as Dave just pointed out to me, what we want isn't exactly realistic. Doesn't stop us from looking for it but then again we are also convinced we will find Unicorns and Wee people. Half the fun of an adventure is the anticipation. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking the married, settled down people. and I'm not saying that I don't want a significant other (that's a fucked up, demeaning term isn't it?) What I am saying is that my list of requirements is unrealistic and impossible. and I've found myself settling because of an insane need to fit in to a place I will never fit in to no matter how hard I try. So I accept me and I'm okay with the me. I will continue to be Bex, I will make my own rules, Live by my standards, drink beers with Dave and go search for Leperachauns and the perfectly poured pint. I honestly believe that 99.9% of the reason you love me is because of my obstinate belief of nonconformity and individuality. Almost forgot! So Dave was on a mission to break up with Tree so he took her to the Pub to soften the blow. It's our process leave it alone. So they are at the pub drinking and Dave was trying to lead the conversation up to the break up stage, she had to use the restroom so Dave calls me up and gives me a heads up on the festivities. Tree came back to the bar and Dave flags the bartender and tells her to get Tree a drink because he just broke up with her! He forgot he said it bluntly to everyone else and forgot to tell her!! Hence the analogy from earlier, those of you that understand the underlaying meaning there will get a big laugh out of that, those of you that don't will not. Think I will be going to the Pub this week, lmao.
I was going to write a bit on peoples misconceptions about me from the past but I decided that I enjoy the misconceptions immensely!
Alright that's enough for now Faithful Readers,
Till next time,
BEX!
No comments:
Post a Comment