I definitely will not do this again. Was always very dead set on my views about relationships, why I wouldn't have one. Why I don't let people close to me in that way. This is the perfect example proving all of my points very correct.
Last weekend I had to deal with him starting shit between his most recent ex and some friend of his. Then Thursday i had my dad over for dinner for his birthday. He got drunk in front of my dad who hasn't spoken to me in a month over drinking. Then this past weekend domestically everything was fine except that there was no alone time. We discussed it and then he still went off and did his own thing, whatev. Was just going to say fuck it and take next weekend off. Stay home and do my thing. But then as I thought about it, I realized that I didn't want that. I want to spend my weekends with him. Then today happened. Today some she bitch was questioning him on his relationships. He gets pissed off when chic's do that, understandable. But I got kinda irritated because I just can't stand those hater bitches that can't keep your name outta their mouths. I said that's one of the reasons that I don't want to move to Auburn. It's got that small town thing going on where everyone knows everyone and they all got something to say. Fuck sakes his sister was just talking about this shit last week so it's not like I'm imagining this shit! Well he started comparing this to Dave. Which is a hell of a long reach considering the Dave debacle didn't have anything to do with anyone running their mouth so don't quite see how that fit? We got off the phone both mad. But instead of cooling down, he went online 15 minutes later and change his relationship status on Facebook!! Are we 12 again?? You can't talk to me you have to notify me of a change on Facebook??? What kind of a pussy ass move is that?? That's as bad as a text message!! Instead of discussing things like adults we do this on facebook, yep this is my fairytale relationship.
I know this is somehow going to be blamed on alcohol, my dave or past insecurities. I'm putting my money on all 3 actually because I can already play the conversation out in my head. And I might add that the whole conversation is straight bullshit. I don't buy into any of it nor will I when it's spoken. You'd think that after this past week it would be evident that if someone lashes out at me I will lash right back. I do not take shit being slung at me just because someone is having a bad day. No one is allowed to treat me that way, NO ONE!!
I can't take this constant emotional turmoil. It's a constant negative drain on me that I can't stand. "I'll love you like no other man, ever." I believed that line, can you believe it? It doesn't matter, none of it does. He said goodbye and that was the end of the fairytale. The princess woke up and the prince was a frog. I'm going to take some time and lick my wounds. Right now my heart hurts, my feelings are hurt, and my world has just been turned upside down. It'll pass and I'll be okay again but for now I will cry and sulk.
Till next time faithful readers,
Bex
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